Monday, December 4, 2017

Ordinary Weekend

After purging all my sad feelings on the blog on Friday, I managed to have a pretty ordinary weekend. I left work early on Friday. I returned a lip gloss to Sephora that was far too expensive and far too bright to be reasonable in my life and then I picked up the girls from school and we spent an hour at the library. The kids play area is fantastic, so I grabbed a stack of home decor magazines and found a comfy chair and we all enjoyed ourselves.

I worked on Christmas cards Friday night and watched an episode of Alias Grace on Netflix (OMG so good Margaret Atwood is my hero). Then we caught up on Survivor. It was so nice to have a night to do nothing.

Saturday morning David took over parenting duties, which really meant shuttling the girls around town from the track where Zuzu's kindergarten class met to run a mile (they're participating in Read, Right, Run), to Kumon, to gymnastics. David was grumbling that we shouldn't have tried to do this session of gymnastics because we're just too busy, but we also didn't know it was going to be 70 degrees in December and we thought the girls would need gymnastics to burn off some energy inside, and also Zuzu turned a real cartwheel and we were like, "Well, maybe they are getting something out of it."

I stayed at home grading papers, doing laundry, and finally putting stuff on the wall in Coco's room. I can't remember if I mentioned this, but I ordered her a duvet cover on sale for Black Friday, so once it arrives I'll post some pictures of her room. It is really looking cute.

I gave the girls an early bath on Saturday because they played out in the leaves and the forest all afternoon. The bathwater was murky by the time they got done, which was both disgusting and satisfying. We had a babysitter come on Saturday night so David and I could go to a concert (Colter Walls, which was actually really super good). We were supposed to stop by a friend's house for a drink ahead of time and I felt really conflicted because I wanted to celebrate her but I was just not in a place for being social. I felt overwhelmed at the thought of it, so I canceled at the last minute. It felt shitty, but I would have felt shitty if I'd gone too, and sometimes I have to choose the path of least resistance.

I wasn't hungry for dinner because I was sad and also I'd had a late lunch, but I really hadn't eaten that much all day and what happened was I drank two vodka cranberries at the concert, scarfed a grilled cheese and fries from Steak & Shake, fell asleep on the couch after insisting I wanted to watch an episode of Mindhunters, and then woke up with a raging headache. I wonder why?

Coco and I went to church on Sunday while David took Zuzu to a birthday party at the butterfly house and I felt that wave of angry sadness that I feel anytime a child celebrates a birthday in December because I want to be planning a December birthday party.

That afternoon, Coco and I started reading a stack of library books together but then she wanted to build with "magic tiles" so we built some towers and then she got bored with me and wandered off to play with some characters on her own. I read some of Roxane Gay's Hunger (which is way more intense than I expected) and then David and Zuzu got home and it was time for me to go to a meeting at church about a kids' program about their bodies and sexuality to see if we want Zuzu to participate. I was kind of surprised that the program starts for 5 and 6 year olds, but the info session was really good, so I think we're going to do it. It was a great surprise to discover that a social worker who is one of the facilitators is actually an acquaintance of mine whom I really like, so it was nice to see her and know she'll be working with the kids.

After that meeting I went home and tried to grade a few papers but I was also tired and had a headache (grief? vodka? who knows?) but then I had a massage scheduled, so yay for self-care.

I may have undone the massage by trying to do a "quick trip to Target" after, but I got what I needed and got home in time to have a slightly late dinner, snuggle the girls, and read for bedtime.

We read the book Owl Moon which is not new, but was new to me and absolutely lovely. It didn't hurt that there was a gorgeous full moon last night and we have a beautiful owl who lives in our neighborhood whom we often hear and occasionally see, so it was a sweet story to read out loud and talk about with the girls, and the writing is really lovely and lyrical and not annoying to read. (Whoever wrote the Princess Sofia Christmas story that we've also been reading a lot of could learn a thing or two from Owl Moon, I'm just saying.)

I didn't quite make it through all the loads of laundry, but I made it through the weekend and it definitely could have been worse. I got some lovely e-mails and a couple texts that made all the difference in the world over the weekend and even though I had bad dreams last night (car accidents and snakes falling from rafters!!!), I'm feeling the love and I really, really appreciate that. xoxo


  1. Owl Moon is one of my all time favorites, and one of the inspiration books for my holiday card this year.

  2. You obviously have more will power than me because I buy a ridiculous lipstick every time I go to Sephora thinking that I am finally going to convert from my clear lipgloss. Never going to happen.

    I've been thinking of you and Eliza. I hope this week is gentle to you.