Scene: Overheard while the girls were playing together.
Zuzu: Our magic treasure box was stolen out of our garden!
Coco: Mine or yours?
Zuzu: BOTH of ours. Yours and mine.
Coco: We HAVE to get it back!
Zuzu: And the way we get it back is... we become unicorns.
We Crack More Eggs Than Nuts Around Here
Scene: After school, Zuzu telling me about her day
Zuzu: Our teacher at school gave us all Christmas names. I'm Rudolph and Coco is Ginge--
Coco: NO DON'T SAY IT I WANT TO SAY IT. (bursts into tears, sobs)
Me: Coco, I didn't hear what Zuzu said. Could you tell me your Christmas name?
Coco: (snuffles, stops crying) Gingerbread. Gingerbread MAN.
Zuzu: And Gemma was Snowflake, and Sadie was Misty-Toe, and Harper was Egg-Cracker.
Me: You mean Nutcracker?
Zuzu: Oh, yes. Nutcracker.
Eat Your Vegetables
Scene: Sitting at kitchen table discussing future dinner menus.
Me: Okay, what about vegetables?
Zuzu: Broccoli!
Me: Good. What else? What about carrots?
Both: (Coco, always a half beat behind as she waits to see which way Zuzu is leaning.) Yes.
Me: Okay, do you like your carrots warm or cold?
Zuzu: Warm!
Coco: Cold!
Zuzu: Well, wait. I mean, medium.
Me: What?
Coco: Medium.
Zuzu: (nicely, but as though she's talking to a very dense person) Medium means just right.
Me: Um, okay. So room temperature. But do you like them soft or crunchy?
Zuzu: Crunchy!
Coco: Soft! I mean crunchy!
Me: Do you guys even like carrots?
Zuzu: Not really.
Happy Holidays
(scene: putting up Christmas decorations)
Zuzu: Mommy, are we going to celebrate Christmas this year, or Hanukkah?
Me: Uh, Christmas.
Zuzu: Why not Hanukkah?
Me: Because we're not Jewish? And also we don't have a menorah?
Zuzu: I think we can do both.
I Swear I'm Not Making This Up
Scene: In the kitchen before school, girls have gone outside to see the snowflakes
Coco: I found a battery outside!
Me: Okay, well bring it here. (She hands it to me). Oh, this isn't a battery. This is a screw.
Coco: Oh. It's a screw.
Zuzu: Daddy was probably screwing outside. He loves to screw! I want to be just like Daddy when I grow up.
My favorite one-liners from Zuzu:
Zuzu: (to Coco) Working together turns our problems to good.
Zuzu: Coco, want to kiss under the misty-toe?
Also having to little girls close in age, this post cracks me up! First of all, I love that Coco got upset about Zuzu telling you her Christmas name (the shit kids cry about!). And the whole waiting to hear what big sister says before you voice your opinion. Both of these are my girls!
ReplyDeleteI read your blog pretty much every day, or when you post. I have never commented before today but I could not let this post go by without a comment. I have not laughed this hard in a long time! Your Zuzu has such an imagination and I love her come backs!! How do you keep a straight face? I especially loved the one about wanting to be just like Daddy when she grows up. Thank you for sharing your girls with us...I truly enjoy reading about them.
ReplyDeleteDavid must be so proud!
ReplyDelete