Christmas Memories 2017

When I remember this Christmas, I want to remember them vibrating with glee and excitement on the stairs.

I want to remember how delighted they were with their gifts. (Coco got a new diaper bag with bottles and diapers for her baby--the high chair was just brought up from downstairs for staging.)

I want to remember them in their Shimmer and Shine costumes, acting out the inane plot from the show over and over again.

I also want to remember the surprise snow on Christmas Eve Eve, and Coco bursting into our room that morning shouting, "The snow is here!"

I want to remember David taking them out sledding in our yard, and the way he laughed as he watched them shoot down the hill and crash into a pile of leaves. He was having as much fun as they were, even without sledding himself. I want to remember how wet and muddy and breathless they were when they finally came in and needed help taking off their coats and mittens and snow pants and boots.

I want to remember the girls being so snuggly and sweet as we watched Christmas movies.

I want to remember Zuzu cackling with laughter at all of the slapstick violence in the movie Home Alone, and Coco drifting off to sleep on the couch.

I want to remember how much they love their grandparents.

I want to remember them shrieking with delight and running from my dad as Bops played "Mon-stah" (Monster) and chased them through the house. He says that Coco will tremble with fright sometimes when the game gets too intense, but if he catches Zuzu, Coco will fight to "save my sistah!"

I want to remember them doing crafts with Grammy, even when those crafts consist of tracing cookie cutters on paper, filling in the shapes with copious amounts of Elmer's glue, and then pouring cookie sprinkles on top of the glue to make their own "cookies," which they then sold to us in a shop.

I want to remember Coco demanding that we watch them dance, and their ballet performances in Christmas dresses, leaping and twirling (and falling) with their rainbow dance ribbons.

I want to remember how excited they were about getting Shimmer and Shine bandaids in their stockings.

I want to remember the contradictions of a three year old who is very independent, but still bellows from the bathroom, "Can someone wipe me?"

She's been waking up dry for a couple of weeks now, so when we ran out of pull ups, I didn't buy more. Last night, in the middle of the night, we woke to her crying. She hadn't wet the bed--instead Coco was out of bed by herself trying to go to the bathroom but couldn't get off the mermaid tail skirt that she'd insisted on sleeping in over her Minnie Mouse pajamas.

I want to remember the nights that they still end up in our bed, when Coco is like a cuddle magnet wanting to be right next to me. My neck is usually killing me in the morning, but when she wakes up, she gently rubs my shoulder and says, "I love you, Mommy" and it's totally worth it.

I want to remember the moments when they are not making good decisions and I ask if they are stinkers and Coco yells, "No! Sweethearts!"

And I want to remember how thrilled they were when the Hatchimals cracked the egg, and how Zuzu kept forgetting what they were called and calling them "Patchimojis." She still sometimes says that birds "patch" from eggs instead of hatch and it's one of the last baby-talk things she does, so I don't want her to stop.

I want to remember taking them to see The Nutcracker at the children's theater and how Zuzu was so into it that she hid her face in my arm when the Nutcracker fought the mouse king. I want to remember how thrilled she and Coco were to get their faces painted.

I want to remember how much they believe, how the magic is real for them, the elf and Santa and everything. I want to remember them acting out the nativity with Zuzu playing Mary and Coco playing Joseph while also dressed as a princess. I want to remember how Zuzu used an Anheuser Busch crate to first be the donkey she rode on and then flipped it over to be the manger for the baby. I want to remember how she used the same language from the children's theater play we saw, "We are going to get a quick drink of water, and then we'll answer questions" and she wanted the audience to ask questions about the play so she could explain what they did.

I want to remember that Zuzu and Coco were excited to go to Grammy's house by themselves a day before David and I head that way, but then Zuzu got teary and asked when Mama was going to get there and seemed uncertain about going on without me.

Five and three are so sweet, and this Christmas was one of the sweetest. We still have two more to go--family Christmas with my brother and his family at my parents', and then extended family Christmas at my Aunt Tammi's. The girls will get more gifts than they need, and the sugar and excitement and change of sleeping schedules will catch up with us.

But I hope that long after they can't recall what presents they received, long after they've moved from Shimmer and Shine to the next obsession, even after they are so big they no longer play with baby dolls, that they will remember how much they are loved, and how much we love making magic for them at Christmas.