Conversations with Zuzu and Coco - April 2017

I was scrolling through phone notes and found these conversations we had with the girls back in April that I'd never blogged. I'm not sure everyone finds them as ADORABLE as I do, but I'm going with it.

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Is My Kid a Sexist Jerk or Just Asking for Some Credentials?

At the pediatrician's office, having Coco checked for an ear infection. Our regular doctor was out, so we saw another doctor in the practice. She was a middle-aged woman wearing a white coat over a nice dress, nylons, and high heels.
Doctor: Hello, I'm Dr. Smith. (sits at laptop)

Zuzu: (eyes her suspiciously) Are you just signing up to be a doctor, or are you a real doctor?

Doctor: I'm a real doctor.

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Quality Parenting Tactics and How Does She Know About Facebook?
In the car, can't remember where we're going. Zuzu was having a nasty attitude.
David: If you can't be nice, I'm going to turn the car around and go home.

Me: And I'm going to text the Easter Bunny and tell her what you've been saying.

Zuzu: You don't even have the Easter Bunny's Facebook!

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Please Enjoy Some Toddler Harassment On Your Stroll
On our front steps. Coco observes an older gentleman walking down the sidewalk with a cane.
Coco: Hi!
Man: Hi!
Coco: Where your baby?
Me: What?
Coco: No, Mommy. I talking to HIM. Where your baby? WHERE YOUR BABY?
Me: Coco, not everyone has babies.
Coco: WHERE YOUR BABY?!
Man: I don't have any babies anymore.
Me: His babies probably grew up.
Coco: WHERE YOUR BABIES?
Me: (fierce whisper) At his house. His babies are at home.
Coco: Oh. Babies at home.

(I'd like to add here that when I mentioned this bizarre conversation to David, he said that when he'd been on out the steps with Coco the night before, an older gentleman with a similar appearance had walked by pushing a baby stroller. We're assuming maybe Coco thought it was the same person. Otherwise I have no idea...)

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Good Advice
At Creve Coeur Park, where there is a big lake.
Zuzu: Don't go in the water! Sharks live in there! And poop!

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When Matter-of-Fact Observations Become Morbid
In the TV room, apropos of nothing.
Zuzu: It looks like Cooper's face is all white.
Me: It's just blonde. (This is a lie I tell myself and, apparently, my children.)
Zuzu: Well, it means he's going to die soon. But not today. Not until his WHOLE BODY is white.

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Baby, You Have No Idea How Much I Know This.
Zuzu: Mommy, do you know sometimes when you're really happy, you can get water in your eyes?