Sunday, May 29, 2016

Conversations With Zuzu: Thoughts on Babies, Her Parents, and 'InjaTurtles

Zuzu has been saying the funniest stuff lately, and if I don't get it written down, I can never remember it. Often, I grab my phone and make a note or voice record a note so I can come back to it later and post them here.

How did people parent before technology?

Here are a few of my favorite comments and conversations from the month of May.


Scene: Zuzu skipped her much-needed nap at school. She fell asleep on the drive home and woke up cranky. I made breakfast for dinner and served her scrambled eggs in a yellow bowl.

Zuzu: Mommy, I wanted the PINK bowl.

Me: Well, Coco has the pink bowl tonight. You get the yellow bowl!

Zuzu: (bursts into angry tears) MOMMY, YOU RUIN MY LIFE!


Scene: Three baby dolls lined up on couch. Baby Keya, Baby Maria (who goes by 'Aria), and Baby Tasha. (Baby Jenna is not with the others, and has inexplicably been renamed Baby Onion.)

Me: Where is Baby Onion?

Zu: Oh, well, she was in my tummy, but then when she got borned, she died. I miss her. 

Me: (Stunned silence. I pinch the bridge of my nose and try to think of something to say.)

Zu: Mommy, it's just pa-tend.


Scene: Trying on a swimsuit I ordered her. It's a modest two-piece with high-waisted bottoms and a full-coverage halter top that also has a large bow across the chest. The top is purple and the bottoms are shiny green and patterned to look like scales on a mermaid tail.

Zu: (pulling at the bow) What is this?

Me: That's a bow. And see how the bottoms are shiny so you look like a mermaid?

Zu: But Mommy, Ariel shows her boobies!

Not showing her boobies.

Back story: David is constantly picking up after me and the girls, which on a good day is a wonderful quality to have in a spouse and on a bad day means he moves stuff around so no one can find what we need when we need it. Whenever Zuzu can't find something, I tell her that Daddy must have hidden it and we'll have to ask him where it is (it's often true!).

Scene: I turn on my car in the carport. Windshield wipers are on and doing that screechy stutter across the dry windshield.

Zuzu: Why that happened?

Me: Daddy cleaned my car and must have turned the wipers on when he was cleaning.

Zuzu: Why he do that?

Me: You know how Daddy always likes to pick up our stuff. He just likes to clean.

Zuzu: It's a good thing Daddy didn't hide your car!


Scene: Last day of school. David is dropping off Zuzu and I'm dropping off Coco but we are leaving the house at the same time, which never happens.

Zuzu: Why are Mommy and Coco going in Mommy's car?

David: Because Mommy has to drive to work in her car.

Zuzu: But can't we all go to my school AS A FAMILY?


Scene: in the car on the way to gymnastics.

Zu: I would like to have Elsa and Anna decorations, and Spider-Man decorations, and 'Inja Turtle decorations at my birthday party.

Me: What are 'Inja Turtles?

Zuzu: Well, they are green and they are nice, but they knock stuff apart. And they are real! But they only come out at night.

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