And So This Is Where We Are Now.

I'm writing this blog post from David's grandma's house on Table Rock Lake. We've been coming here for visits for the last fifteen years. For the last ten years, I've daydreamed about bringing our kids here for long weekends--Fourth of July and Labor Day have been our traditions. It was also a refuge for us when our power went out right after I had my wisdom teeth removed. Somehow, this visit was not ever something that I imagined.

David's Grandma Peggy (also known around these parts as Grandma Peppa) passed away early Wednesday morning. David was here, holding her hand.

When he spoke at his grandfather's funeral almost four years ago, he promised to take care of his grandma, and my heart just bursts when I think about how much he has done to keep that promise in the past four years.

He's been down here since Sunday. I spent the week trying to keep the girls in a normal routine, while also cleaning, wrapping gifts, doing some last-minute shopping, and waiting to hear the inevitable news. We drove down yesterday.

Zuzu seems to have understood that Grandma Peppa died and has taken the news in stride. We've talked a little bit about it, and I've tried to answer questions like, "How do people die?" ("Uhhh...").

I found myself getting teary-eyed when we arrived here last night. For fifteen years, Grandma Peppa has always been here, standing in the kitchen, ready to greet us with hugs and a non-stop stream of conversation and instructions as we unloaded the car. This house looks the way it always did, but it feels really empty without her.

(If I'm being totally honest, it feels a smidge more relaxed because her housekeeping expectations were a little bit stressful--David said that even at the very end, her sharp eyes would spot a piece of fuzz on the carpet and she would demand that he pick it up and throw it away or go get the vacuum. But, I mean, she grew up very poor and ultimately built her dream house on the lake--she never took that for granted, and took good care of it. The place is immaculate.)

I know many of you have been thinking of us and of Grandma Peggy this month. It does kind of feel like we have gotten walloped this December--the five year anniversary of the worst day of our lives, a wicked bout of strep throat, challenging behavior issues with Zuzu, Coco's JustaVirus dragging on and on (both girls are now basically snot fountains), and now this sad loss of another loved one to cap things off right before Christmas.

But we are here. We're together. We're regrouping. We thankful that Gma Peggy is no longer suffering. We're glad the snot fountains are clear and not green. I'm relieved to be fully recovered from strep throat and we are fortunate to have the time off from our jobs that we need right now. Thanks for keeping us in your thoughts and prayers.