This morning I listened to news reports about the shooting at the community college in Oregon and then I looked online at photos of Syrian refugee children sleeping out of doors.
And I'm basically ready to give up on humanity.
I think about the students in Oregon and I see my students. I look at those terrified kids sleeping out of doors and I see my kids.
And what really sucks is that the problems seem so huge and overwhelming and impossible that instead of feeling spurred to action, I feel tired and scared and sick to my stomach and I just want to go home and hold my babies and never leave my house.
Not exactly the way I planned to start my weekend.
I feel the same way. And I have no idea what to do.
ReplyDeleteHey - at least retreating sounds peaceful. I'm so pissed off at the world in general that I can hardly see straight. I slept four hours last night, max.
ReplyDeleteHere's one for you - throw reading Coates' "Between the World and Me" into the mix, and then follow @humansofny on instagram (currently featuring Syrian refugee stories) and you'll have the perfect shit storm.
Sorry I'm not helping out at all. The older I get, the less likely I am to bite my tongue.
I heard an interview on Fresh Air awhile back with the writer? producer? of the show "The Good Wife". I've never watched the show, but apparently it starts with (yet another) politician standing at the podium, admitting to an extramarital affair while his pained but poised wife stands by his side. The writers wanted to write a show that imagined what happens in that first moment between the husband and wife when they are off stage and no one is watching - they imagine that moment when the wife gets to finally smack her husband across the face for humiliating her like that.
That's all I could think of last night after listening to our president talk about the shootings and the politics of it all. He was so frustrated and emotional and grief stricken and PISSED AS HELL. I just wanted to be in that off stage room to listen to him say what he really felt off the mic.
I have zero patience for anyone defending the status quo anymore, and I'm not afraid to say it. The NRA has lobbied, bought and sold our politicians, deepened the divide between rational and IRRATIONAL people by stoking the fires of fear and racism and ignorance, and they've profited royally, oh SO royally from it.
I don't have a fully formed plan yet, but one part of it will be to encourage everyone with some brain in their heads to look closely at each candidate they vote for and determine whether or not the NRA is backing their candidacy. The NRA makes it easy - they grade them all!
I'm sorry that you and David and my sister chose such a noble profession that more and more frequently involves the real risk of being on the front line to tragedy. I'm guessing that's not why you initially signed up?
.....
Deep breaths, though. Thanks for letting me vent. I hope the weekend is good to you and the fall sunshine and some pumpkins are in your forecast.
xo
Which is exactly what I did today.
ReplyDeleteOn top of it all there was a plane crash in Afghanistan killing all on board. My brother is a pilot and deployed and my heart went into my throat when I read a cargo plane crashed and I waited to hear back from my sister in law that Rob is fine. But this world is so scary and sad and heartbreaking that even knowing he was ok I couldn't go to bed last night without thinking of all those who are not ok and how helpless I feel about it all.
ReplyDeleteI've stopped watching the news before bed. The violence, the sadness, the turmoil the world over creeps into my dreams and I wake unsettled. I will look at news reports throughout the day at work, though, and it's draining. I WANT to feel the urge to do something, be active about the things I'm passionate about, but really, all I find myself doing is tuning out and wanting to be quiet, in my little house with my people. I'm teaching public speaking (part time) at our local community college. The students seemed numb last week. I was hoping no one would bring it up, but it's public speaking and I tend to require them to speak off the cuff and of course it was on everyone's minds.
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