Friday, September 4, 2015

The Secret

I have finally discovered the secret to getting through the work week.

Are you ready for this?


I KNOW, right?

I am very affected by caffeine. If I drink it without eating enough, I get super jittery and shaky. If I drink it in the evening, I can't sleep.

When I saw a therapist in grad school, convinced I needed anti-anxiety medication, he told me to first try cutting out caffeine and also exercising.

(I was slightly irritated that his advice TOTALLY WORKED for me.)

So I chilled out on the coffee, quit drinking pop, and then I quit it entirely when I got pregnant with Eliza because I figured if it made me jittery, it would affect the baby, too. And then I didn't want anything even remotely questionable in my body when we were trying to get pregnant again. And by the time Zuzu weaned, I hadn't been drinking coffee in so long that I didn't have a chance to start up again before I discovered I was pregnant again.

But NOW!

I have quit pumping at work. I went to a La Leche meeting this week because I was having mixed feelings about this decision... I mean, I WANT to quit pumping, but Coco isn't a big fan of cow's milk (not the way Zuzu was) so it didn't seem as easy to quit sending mama milk to school with her when she's not really cool with the easy substitute.

But, Girlfriend is almost thirteen months old. She can drink water and catch up on mama milk when she sees me. I do not need to be pumping eight ounces a day at this point. The LLL leaders suggested I try rice milk to see if she likes that, but not to stress over it. I have some frozen milk (just a little bit, as I recently donated most of my supply to the Milk Bank), so I'll do some mixing and keep sending sippy cups of it as long as it holds out, but I'm NOT SORRY to say goodbye to the pump and to the washing of pump parts (except in the sense that it means my baybee is really not a little baby anymore, as though her WALKING and TALKING is not enough of a clue).

(Also there was the perk of having the excuse to get out of really boring work meetings sometimes, but I suppose that couldn't last forever...)

Anyway, what that means is that I am drinking caffeinated tea and having an occasional small cup of coffee and it feels SO GOOD! I slammed a nonfat chai latte before class on Wednesday and I was WIRED. It was awesome.

But my use is totally recreational, so don't worry.

I'm not an addict. It's cool. I feel alive. If you don't like it, you're on the other side.

(Anybody remember that song? K's Choice? C'mon, tell me you remember it. Mid to late '90s? Totally awesome. Love it.)

This week was a doozy, so the caffeine really helped.

Highlights of my week included:
* a pair of size 3T panties getting flushed down the toilet
* a pair of baby hands caught splashing in the toilet water (gag gag gag!)
* the poor dog getting shut outside for the night with everyone too tired to realize it so he basically shredded the weatherstrip lining trying to claw his way back in and shredded my heart with mama guilt for leaving him out because he is a special snowflake kind of indoor dog (at least it was a warm, dry night).

Oh, another great moment was when Zuzu got really mad at me and yelled, "I'm going to BITE you! With my MOUTH!" (She didn't actually bite me, so maybe we're making progress?)

David worked late last night, and my work continues to feel crazy. I don't know if I just forgot what the first couple weeks of the semester feel like since I was at home with a newborn last year, or if this year was just especially crazy. But I think it really has been especially crazy.

I'm definitely needing a long weekend. And I might even bust out the coffee pot for Tuesday morning!

Wild times here, my friends. Wild times.

Now excuse me while I go find K's Choice on Spotify.


  1. Oh, K's Choice. I hit a car in my high school parking lot while that song played on the radio, I will never forget it. I've been making my husband watch Buffy and they played a set at the Bronze in an episode. I miss the 90's.

    1. OMG YES The Bronze always had the BEST music. I miss the '90s too! Thankfully the magic of Buffy is timeless.

  2. I love that song!!!

    How is Zuzu's new school going by the way??

    1. It's really going well. I love that they spend a LOT of time outside, especially at the start of the year as they start a slow transition from outdoor play to more "work" time inside. But she comes home absolutely filthy and exhausted. I don't mind the filth, but man she's really bratty in the evenings when she's worn out and refusing to settle for bed. So we're still working on that adjustment.

  3. I'm drinking more caffeine than I ever have. Not really a ton each day, but now some most every day. And trying not to feel bad about it.

    Bode drinks nothing except water and milk straight from the source, which is not producing much these days. I've even tried "special chocolate milk" and nothing.

    No more pumping at work was a nice feeling!

    I've been there, feeling like the worst animal parent, but thankfully our pets are forgiving!

    1. Bless their hearts, they are so forgiving. Poor buddy.

      I didn't ever like milk as a kid, either. And I kinda think the dairy farmers have warped our perception of cow milk as the only source of calcium. I'm trying to keep that in mind!

  4. I need to become a coffee drinker. I drank it semi regularly for about two semesters in college and now only have the occasional starbucks. But maybe I will be more inclined to be productive and less inclined to sleep when the kids are napping. . . .then again, maybe I'm good without.

    1. I actually looooove coffee and have only avoided it because of the caffeine.

  5. I thought I was the only one who still loved that song! Great song. :D

    I didn't start drinking coffee until I was thirty, and then only because a new friend kept starting a pot when I came over, and I felt guilty not drinking some! My husband was so excited when we could literally go have a cup of coffee together, without my ordering a coke or iced tea (loved caffeine, just didn't care for hot drinks!). For years(because yes, 30 was *years* ago) if I drank any, I only drank it when it was in fluffy mocha form, but I finally crossed over and started drinking it at home, too.

    Anyway, when I was a youngster, back in the Navy, if someone was irritated with my supervisor, they'd buy me a mocha - my reaction to the caffeine in coffee (tea and coke didn't do this to me) was so intense it affected my entire shop as I would basically go full blown toddler on crack (but with access to power tools!!) for the rest of the afternoon. He'd see me with the cup, and growl, "That better be hot chocolate!!" Good times. More often than not, he'd just give me the rest of the day off. Everyone wins!

  6. I have learned from experience that I need to have at least one cup of tea during the day or I will develop a horrible headache. :p I did give up caffeine when I was pregnant, but when I was in the hospital after delivering Katie, one of the nurses offered me a cup of tea & I gratefully climbed back off the wagon. ;) I drink less caffeine now than I did when I was working (and lived from coffee break to coffee break), but I still love having a cup in the morning after breakfast as I peruse my usual websites, and usually another mid-afternoon.

  7. Girl, coffee is the bomb. But i didn't realize how much it affected me until I stopped drinking caffeine for a couple weeks during my "detox" and now WOW does a small latte get me going. It's how I imagine taking speed would feel. Kind of great!

  8. Cracking up about the underwear down the toilet (probably too fresh for you to consider it funny yet). Caffeine works wonders, doesn't it? I gave it up almost 3 years ago when we were trying to get pregnant and now if I have one I am SO WIRED and SO PRODUCTIVE. It is amazing (until I try to sleep later).

  9. Now that K's Choice song is in my head and I love it! That whole album on cassette tape was the soundtrack to the summer after my sophomore year in college. Now I need to go find it on CD.

    Go Team Caffeine!!

  10. 3T undies down the toilet? Yikes.

    Caffeine. Love-hate relationship. When I was teaching, my fifth graders would literally know when it hit 1pm because one of them would go to my mini fridge and bring be a Diet Coke every single afternoon. I quit all caffeine before becoming pregnant with Andrew and never really had any until now. Until baby is off the boob and then I grab myself a coffee at DD about 2x a week now and a super big DC at McD because they are a dollar and what are they trying to do to me giving me that big of a size? I also get jittery with too much, but man does it really help productivity.

    p.s. Prize for latest commenter?