Friday, August 14, 2015

Let's Get Back to My Life

All I do is blog about kids anymore, and isn't this blog really supposed to be a modest and objective report ALL ABOUT ME and not about my remarkably brilliant and adorable offspring?


So let's get back to my life outside of and in addition to and okay yes probably also dealing with my kids, stream-of-consciousness style shall we?

For starters, I was thinking about the make-up tax on women, and then I was thinking about how many minutes of my life I spend running back in the house for one more thing I've realized we've forgotten just as we all get loaded up in the car. I do this almost daily. This morning, I did it THREE TIMES.

(1) binky (Coco's)

(2) sunglasses (mine)

(3) pump attachments (sonofabitch the worst part of this was that I was leaving daycare before I realized this bag was missing, so I had to circle ALL the way back--daycare is 13 minutes from my house and in the direction of my work) and was 15 minutes late for work. It's a good thing I'm not a surgeon. For SO MANY reasons. Namely the reason that when I see needles, I like to faint, but also the one where I inevitably end up 10 minutes late for everything, in part because I think nothing should actually start until 7 minutes after its declared start time. It's just a personal philosophy that I strongly believe in.)

Also after I dropped off the girls, I realized I still had Zuzu's bag with her towel, swimsuit, and watershoes, so I had to U-turn back to her school and then I literally RAN up to the gate and saw another parent going in with a preschooler and asked her to take the bag in for me and the sprinted back to my car. This mom happens to be pretty cool and I would actually like to be her friend so hopefully she doesn't mind maybe being friends with people who can't get their sh*t together.

And the thing is, I really TRIED to get organized last night. I made David help me, even. Everything was laid out and ready to go. The problem is I literally carry no fewer than seven different bags out to the car, so until I get a bellhop to attend me on a daily basis, something often gets lost in the shuffle.

The other thing is that I wasn't going to pump anymore because Coco turned one and I hate pumping, but I am really reluctant to stop nursing (probably because she's my last baybee and I am a motherhood cliche), also I don't like to be uncomfortably aware of my boobs, also sometimes it's good to have a legitimate excuse to excuse myself from meetings and go to my office and lock the door for thirty minutes.

In other news, I decided to make the most of our LAST DAY OF SUMMER yesterday, so by ten after eight (of course my goal had been 8:00am), we were headed up to the park. Zuzu wore her Rapunzel hair because nothing is more fun than wrapping a yarn earwarmer around your head when it's 90 degrees out. We did the park, then made it home in time to get to story time at the library where she made a superhero cape and mask, then we came home to eat lunch and then went to Target to buy Cheerios and have an excuse to drive around in the car until she fell asleep.

Turns out the general public loves a preschooler in a cape and Rapunzel braid. She got many admiring glances and comments at Target. Also she kept making loud and shrill pronouncements like, "This is a FUN place!" Someone should put her in commercials.

After Target, I remembered that I needed to pick up the thank you cards I was having made for Coco's birthday, so I stopped by the printing place. They'd e-mailed me the day before to say they received my order and it should be ready soon, so I just assumed that since it was a small order it would be ready for pick up.

It turns out, they were behind schedule, so they hadn't made my cards yet.

BUT it turns out that when you show up in person, and you're dragging a tired baby and a toddler wearing a yarn wig and a cape made from a plastic tablecloth who loudly announces that she has to go potty, they will graciously lead you through a storage room and printing press area that off-limits to the public so you can use the employees-only bathroom, and then they print your cards in 10 minutes while you wait.

I went to a snake oils class earlier this week, and roped a friend into going with me. I keep thinking I should do a whole blog post about how much I like using essential oils (while cloth diapering, feeding our backyard chickens, and swimming in my birthing pool--which has a leak, dammit!) but then I figure I'll just sound like a crazy hippie.

I mean, I'll pop an ibuprofen when I need to, but I have seriously found that peppermint oil can cure a lot of headaches, that lavender helps me sleep, that lavender added to the bathtub helps the girls go to bed a little easier, that lemon and lavender rubbed on my neck soothe a sore throat (seriously, I was a TOTAL skeptic but it worked for me), that lemon in my water makes me pee a lot (therefore: detoxifying), that On Guard smells delicious and nobody in my family was seriously ill this winter (except for me getting mastitis, dangit). So I'm just saying I like oils.

I also like pretending that I run an apothecary and fondling all the little bottles. David's obsessed with the Deep Blue muscle rub. If only they made an essential oil that cured cracked/strained ribs.

I don't think I've mentioned that David decided to come out of retirement and play baseball again this summer. He's slightly adjusted his pitching technique so that he's not straining his shoulder so much and evidently he's back and better than ever.

He always plays at the most inconvenient times (read: when I'm home alone with the kids and they are whiny and refusing to nap and a friend has invited me to do something fun like go to a thrift shop or watch Death Comes to Pemberly, (it's on Netflix you guys and SO GOOD)) and it always means that he's gone for at least three hours and then he comes home exhausted, filthy, and needed a shoulder rub which means basically that him playing baseball is more work for me. Plus an extra load of laundry for the uniform.

Anyway, a couple weeks ago he played a game that went into extra innings (because of course it did) so after he had to quit pitching, he was playing outfield. And he laid out to catch a pop fly, and he did catch it, but he landed on his ribs as he did so and has evidently strained something.

He's been in a lot of pain, and he consulted (outside the office) with a chiropractor who said that whether it's broken or cracked or strained, there's not really anything to be done about it.

Except be a total grumpy gus A-hole.

Seriously, David is not a whiner, but he has been cranky and short-tempered and not like his usual self because he is in pain all the time. Might also have something to do with school starting and not getting enough sleep, but mostly it's the rib.

Anyway, he thinks it's getting better. I sure hope so. In the meantime, I ordered a snake oil diffuser for my office that I'm super excited about. It will smell good! And healthy! And invigorating and/or relaxing! My scentsi will be jelly.

I've been feeling all the feelings about back to work and Coco turning one and all that jazz. Just when it's time for Zuzu to start her new school, I'm having serious second thoughts and may end up trying to convince David to keep her where she is. She has friends and I love the teacher in the classroom where she is now and it means I get more time with her in the mornings and change is hard and... ugh. I don't know what I'm doing.

Because I'm not buying any new clothes for myself right now, I want to buy ALL THE NEW back to school things. I'm holding out, though. My modified Buy Nothing New program is no new clothes for me or new stuff for the house (with maybe the exception of the right chandelier). I am not going to put new clothes for the girls totally off-limits, but I'm shopping consignment first (not that I really need to do much shopping for them at all--we are so fortunate to have hand-me-downs from friends and now they are making their way from Zuzu to Coco. Also, Zuzu is much shorter than my friend's daughters were at age 3, so some of the stuff they were wearing at age 3 doesn't even fit her yet.

I'm giving away some baby things to a friend of mine who is due in September. This has been somewhat emotional, but actually not as much as I would have expected. Partly because I've kept stuff that has sentimental value for me, with the thought that I might pass it along to a niece or nephew if/when my brother and his wife have kids, or I might even convince Crafty Cousin Amanda to make me one of those fancy baby clothes quilts.

Can we go back to Death Comes to Pemberly for a minute? I read the book earlier this summer (after my friend bought it for $1 in hardback at a thrift shop and then lent it to me). It's really pretty good, but the miniseries on Netflix is EVEN better. It's a follow up to Pride and Prejudice, starting six years after Elizabeth has married Mr. Darcy, when (gasp!) death comes to Pemberly in the form of a murder on the grounds and the dastardly Wickham is the chief suspect. The casting is superb (I love the actress who plays Elizabeth because she's pretty but she's not like Keira Knightley gorgeous so I think she better fits the Elizabeth Bennet of my imagination), and Lydia is fabulous and totally cute and the guy who plays Wickham is also on The Good Wife (he plays Finn the assistant ADA) and he's great. Highly recommend! (There is a living baby who comes into part of the plot, just FYI.)

Left on my to-do list for today: Finish up syllabus for at least one of my classes and get thank you notes from Coco's birthday mailed out. Guess I'd better get started on at least one of those.

August is a month of transition, which is perhaps why it's never been my favorite, despite the fact that two of my favorite people have birthdays this month. But we still have three weekends left in it, so I should make some plans for fun. (Preferably the kind of fun that will exhaust Zuzu early enough that I can sneak in an episode of Death Comes to Pemberly after she's asleep and before I go to bed.)


  1. Just for the record, I don't know how anyone with young kids gets anywhere on time.

  2. Giving up pumping does not mean giving up nursing! After about 9 months most moms can stop pumping but maintain enough supply for nursing before and after work. I stopped pumping at 10 months and kept nursing. It was breastfeeding heaven: all the fun parts (snuggling) and none of the annoying (ugh to forgetting pump parts....). At least until he got into biting!

    1. You're totally right--I know I did this with Zuzu. I just can't remember the transition... And she was a bigger fan of cow's milk than Coco is, so maybe that helped? Anyway, that's definitely my plan.

  3. I wish I knew David was playing baseball again sooner! You will have to let me know where and when he plays if you go to any games with the kids, Matthew would love it! He hasn't seen any games besides cardinals yet bc it seems creepy to take him to a game of ppl we don't know. But he has stopped and made Joe watch MANY kids practices that happened to show up at the park.

  4. And promise me you won't start selling oils or proclaiming young living or doterra cures cancer and blog away on them! (PS. Plant therapy has a lot of stuff that's the same as the direct sales companies for way cheaper, love them!)

    Oh and Lucas thinks target is pretty awesome too, especially since it usually includes popcorn we drop all over the store.

    I hope we get to see your girls soon! I need to see zuzu's magical hair in person!

    1. Good heavens no. I still totally believe in actual real medicine. And I'm definitely not a sales person! Just a groupie.

  5. Is there a way you can put some of your bags in the car the night before (diapers, clothes, pump) so you you have less to carry in the morning?

    And none of us with small kids get anywhere on time. You're doing a great job!

  6. As a long-time reader (but first-time commenter) can I selfishly ask for another book post? I usually pick up the books you've read and enjoyed for my own reading list, and have yet to be disappointed!

  7. I agree about ditching the pumping. You can totally breastfeed for a long time by just changing the pattern. :) And washing that shit is ridic.

    Benjamin's preschool starts at 8:30. I find THAT early. ugh. Getting anywhere is impossible.

  8. Yay for your Death Comes to Pemberly review!! I've been eyeing it, but you know how a lame, contrived sequel can suck... So I was iffy, but you never steer me wrong in the literature and entertainment department!

    Also, I weaned my last baby in March (*gasp* almost six months ago... :'/) and... uh... she turned four in May. Soooo there may be a cliché in here somewhere, but i don't think it's you!

    Further, definitely no need to pump and my boobs adjusted to random hours quickly, tho of course we're all individuals, aaaaaaand she still actively misses nursing. These are the things you don't think about when you decide to nurse past a given age - weaning when they can argue and articulate their emotions is infinitely harder than I imagined. Plan accordingly! Or don't. It's your life. ;)