Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Conversations with Zuzu Part IV

January-February 2015 edition.

Scene: In the kitchen. I made snack for Zuzu, and then one for myself.

Zuzu: Oh, that's my orange!

Me: You already ate your orange. This is Mommy's orange.

Zuzu: Let's share! I like to share.

Me: Sure you do, kid. When it benefits you, you love to share!

* * *

Scene: In the living room. Zuzu climbs up on a counter-height stool that I usually use as a plant stand.

Zuzu: I'm up here!

Me: That looks dangerous.

Zuzu: Yes. I fall down and I get hurt!

Me: Well, as long as you're aware of the risks.

* * *

Scene: Loading up in the car after daycare. I'm parked next to the drainage grate by the curb and Zuzu stands on the manhole cover. A lady slows down in her car driving by to tell me my kid is standing on the manhole cover (okay, jumping on it) because the lady is worried she might fall through. (Uh... I don't manholes are supposed to do that, but better safe than sorry, I guess.)

Me: Zuzu, come stand over here. You don't want to fall down the drain. (in a silly voice) That would be scary!

Zuzu: There's alligators down there! They eat me up!

Me: Alligators?

Zuzu: Yes.

Me: Well, I'd jump down there and save you.

Zuzu: And I say, "Settle down, alligators! Don't eat my mommy!"

Me: Oh, thanks, honey.

* * *

Scene: Overheard while playing with Disney figurines.

Zuzu: Ok, boys. You gotta be nice. Or no Christmas for you. Ever.

(She is also frequently overheard having her figurines rescue each other: "It's ok, Daisy! I got you!" and telling them, "Settle down, boys!")

* * *
Scene: In the kitchen. I'm fixing lunch.

Zuzu: I need help, Mama.

Me: What do you need help with?

Zuzu: I need help with Zuzu.

* * *

Scene: Basement. Freaking dog has pooped on the carpet.

Me: Oh no, Cooper!

Zuzu: Holy Moses! Cooper, you need to poopoo on potty!

* * *

Scene: On our bed, playing with Coco.

Zuzu: Oh, Coco, what big cheeks you have! (pinches cheeks)

Me: Be gentle!

Zuzu: Oh, Coco, what big tongue you have!

David: All the better to eat you with, my dear!

Zuzu: That not My Dear! That Coco!

* * *

Scene: At the doctor's office for Coco's six month well visit.

Doctor: Well, hello there!

Zuzu: That my sister, Coco.

Doctor: You call her Coco? What's her real name?

Zuzu: Coco.

Me: No, what's Coco's whole name?

Zuzu: Coco Puff.

* * *
Scene: On our couch, telling Grammy about how mad she was when I flushed the toilet after dumping her diaper in it, instead of letting her flush the toilet. (Because, YES, she's still in diapers.)

Zuzu: (scolding very seriously) That not your turd, Mommy. That my turd!


  1. I need help with Zuzu. Ha

    Finn used to tell himself to settle down and I loved it!


    Coco Puff and turd! lol

  3. Coco puff! I have tears rolling down my cheeks.

  4. Dr: Has she had a fever? Vomitting? Diarrhea?
    Me: No
    Her: My dad has diarrhea!