Conversations with Zuzu Part III

Scene: Our small guest bathroom. It normally has a rug on the floor in front of the sink that basically takes up most of the floor in the bathroom. I'd tossed it in the washing machine, so the tile floor was bare. Zuzu went in to wash her hands.

Zuzu: Mama! There's a sidewalk in here!

# # #

Zuzu: I want a tweat.

Grammy: You only get a treat if you peepee in the potty.

Zuzu: No, Grammy! Don't talk like that.

# # #

Scene: Zuzu is playing in her little kitchen with David.

David: Do you like milk, ice cream, or orange juice?

Zuzu: I like orange juice.

David: What about coffee?

Zuzu: No, Grammy drink coffee.

David: Does Bop ever drink coffee?

Zuzu: Yes, Bop drink coffee and Grammy drink coffee herself!

David: What about Daddy? Do I drink coffee?

Zuzu: No, you drink beer. You need some beer?

# # #

Scene: Running through dining room, Zuzu hurts her foot.

Zuzu: Oh, no! I stubbed my mommy-toe!

Me: Which one is your mommy-toe?

(Zuzu points to big toe on left foot.)

Me: Do you have a daddy-toe?

Zuzu: (In a tone that implies her mother is an idiot.) Right der. (points to big toe on right foot)

# # #

Scene: Dining at restaurant. Getting reading to leave. I'm fastening Colette into her carseat. Booth behind us has two couples sitting in it. Zuzu turns around and sticks her head in their booth (because people love that).

Zuzu: Hi!

Me: Zuzu, come on, let's get your coat on.

Zuzu: I saw Santa Ho-Ho.

Man in booth: (appears friendly and slightly inebriated) Did you ask him if he was bringing me any presents?

Zuzu: No! He brings toys! Pink toys!

Me: Come on, Zuzu, let's go!

People in booth: Bye! Have a good night!

Zuzu: Bye! Have a good night.

# # #

Scene: Coco finished eating, is burping.

Zuzu: Mama, Colette burting?

Me: Yes, she's burping.

Zuzu: She burt a lot. Big burts... yittle burts... Oh NO! She's slitting*! She's slitting!

(*spitting--in case that wasn't obvious)

# # #

Scene: I've just sat down to nurse the baby.

Zuzu: (dancing around like an elf) I'm peeing! I have to pee! My pee-pee comin' out!

Me: Seriously? Do you want to go peepee on the potty?

Zuzu: (Stops spinning, points at me, says in a voice that can only be described as a demonic growl) NEVER!