Wednesday, July 16, 2014


I hit 37 weeks yesterday. I feel... okay. (Or, as Zuzu would say, "oh-KAI!")

37 weeks
The plan right now is that we wait until my due date (August 5th) and if I haven't had the baby by then, I'll be induced. Of course, I would love to go into labor on my own, but my OB and I both feel that going past my due date invites too many risks (including the risk of me filling his e-mail inbox with more of my crazy).

Good news: I am still feeling lots of movement. The detailed growth ultrasound I had on Monday indicated that baby is still head down and that my amniotic fluid levels were at the highest end of normal (26 cm). Both the maternal fetal medicine specialist I saw and my OB agreed that number was nothing to be concerned about. My OB noted that the fluid volume probably contributed to the baby being able to flip around so dramatically (he was actually surprised that the baby had turned completely around between Tuesday and Friday).

I had a really nice nurse/tech doing the ultrasound for me on Monday. She asked about my history in a very sensitive way and was really kind in her response (what's sad is that this is remarkable since that was not always the case during my pregnancy with Zuzu). I got teary-eyed because the baby looks so healthy--we didn't see the face, but I could even see how chubby the little baby arms are looking. The estimated weight was 6 lbs 13 ounces--I know ultrasound estimations can be way off, but if it's accurate and baby gains half a pound a week over the next three weeks, we're looking at more than Zuzu's 8 pound birth weight (yikes!).

I've been busy working on stuff for the little "baby area" in our master bedroom--I have a post coming soon about chalk-painting furniture, David got the bookcase put together, I picked out curtains, and now it's just a matter of purchasing and arranging some accessories (oh, Ikea, why can't you be here already?).

Doing this stuff hasn't been too hard on me. Maybe it's easier because it's not really a nursery, so I can tell myself that I'd be buying curtains for our bedroom anyway.

But there's other stuff that needs to be done that I'm still procrastinating... washing newborn clothes, packing a hospital bag, making a birth plan...

For the record, I'm not set on any particular birth plan. My goal is healthy baby, and whatever it takes to make that happen is fine.

But I guess it doesn't hurt to envision the ideal plan. I'm just not exactly sure what that is. I'm not opposed to an epidural, but I've never had one before and I'm still more afraid of a needle in my spine than I am of the pain of contractions. I don't like the idea of not being able to walk and I'm freaked out by a catheter. So my "plan" right now is to just see how it goes. If a needle in my spine sounds like a preferable option to enduring contractions, I'll get an epidural. If I can survive the contractions without medical interventions, then we'll roll with that.

My friend Renel said her plan with her third baby was just to "do it until I couldn't do it anymore." (She ended up delivering without an epidural, but also had a small baby). So I am going to kind of make that my mantra. I could make myself crazy planning for every potential scenario, and I think in this case it's really important that I trust the future me (and David) to make decisions I feel comfortable with in the moment. I've done this twice before, but somehow I still feel weirdly underprepared (if only I could study hard enough to ace this).

In the end, I just want a healthy baby. Whatever it takes to get Rerun here alive and well is totally fine with me.


  1. Love Renel's mantra. That was mine for most of the pregnancy with Lillian. Do it until I can't. And I did it without getting to my can't, close to it but not actually there.

    Sending love for Rerun each day. Holding my breath with you, dear friend.

  2. That was pretty much my mantra with the last 2 babies when I went sans epidural. Once I hit 7-8cm I knew I wasn't getting one and honestly, the recovery was SO much better than my first (csection) and my second (VBAC with a epidural at 7cm.)

    But of course, healthy baby is the ultimate goal. I am 100 percent there with you. Getting close. Sending prayers and thinking of you as it gets closer.


  3. I never really knew the range of normal for fluid. I remember with Ella in those scary moments they said under 10 and you don't go home. Mine was 1.3. That seemes really low now that I hear 26. So you didn't need a pool to flip that baby-you are carrying around your own internal one! How appropriate since your last baby is part fish. :) Counting down the days with you and hoping you'll call on us for help after that chubby armed baby is home in your own arms.

  4. You are seriously ALL belly. I know each epidural is different but with Finn I could walk fairly well soon after and Mary only one leg was wonky for just a little bit. But you're on such a new baby high the wonky legs don't really bother you. At least they didn't me.

  5. You are ridiculously adorable. Do you know how big my ass got?!! Let's just say I could have taken up twerking as a side job and made the bucks.

    I think your plans are awesome. I had epidurals with the 2 I delivered, and I don't regret them, nor did I suffer any ill side affects, thank goodness, but I'd be totally open to someday having a kid without one.

    Maybe. Ugh. Labor hurts.

    Anyway, you look awesome, your plans rock, CAN'T WAIT TO SEE RERUN!!!!

  6. I had a similar feeling about epidurals and also Renel's mantra. My midwife was really great and said to make whatever decision feels right at the time, do it from a position of power and trust that it is right for you and your baby. I didn't get an epidural with Bear. I did with Bode. Both were the right decisions. With Bode, it allowed me to relax enough that he was born an hour after so I did not need a catheter and I could get up and walk very soon after.

    Either way, I'm sending love and strength to make it through the next weeks as Rerun gets ready to be held on the outside!

  7. You look great! You're all baby!! I'm glad things are going well and I continue to send good thoughts and prayers! Almost there!

  8. I went sans epidural all 3 times, largely because of my fear of a needle near my spine as well. My family has a history of anesthetics not working well - including during my mother's emergency C-section and random dental procedures - and what scares me more than needles is my convincing myself that there is reliable relief available, and then that relief not working for me. I'd rather just accept whatever pain is coming. Thankfully, my family also has a history of enormous hips and fairly easy births (not counting that C/S) so there's that. Nothing whatsoever wrong with getting relief if you can though!!

    You truly are ALL belly, and it IS adorable. My enormous booty balanced out my enormous belly, so I guess that helped me to stay upright? Weebles wobbling and all.

  9. You look great and congratulations on being full term! I can't wait to read about Rerun's arrival... wishing you a safe, quick, and easy delivery and a healthy baby!

  10. My "plan" to not have an epidural went out the window when I stalled at 9cm. Yes, I stalled in transition labor. Ended up spending 3 hours there...thankfully about 2 of those hours were medicated. I do hope to avoid the epidural this time, but who knows? Also, if you are talking about a catheter to empty your bladder, you won't feel a thing if you've had the epidural, so nothing to worry about there. I was more worried about my bladder rupturing if they hadn't catheterized me!

    Good luck these last few weeks! Yes, the best plan is healthy baby.

  11. I was the most anxious in my last weeks - as it was feared from 36 weeks that my previous c-section scar would rupture. They did not push me past 37.2 weeks and my baby weighed 7lbs. We BLM's know what a nervous time a pregnancy after loss can be and what a glorious day it is when they are born healthy (and mostly alive).

  12. Oh Brooke - this all just makes me so anxious, and feel good at the same time. I used to be a person that loved baby arrivals, and it feels good that that side of me is able to get out a bit more seeing a BLM have another kiddo.

    Your birth plan sounds perfect. I like Renel's mantra. I had an epidural with Theo. I was calling it at 9:30pm as I just couldn't get comfortable through the contractions any longer because of the heart monitor slipping every time, and it sent my anxiety through the roof. I had a really rough team "helping" me through labour, and the day itself was a nightmare of sorts - but Theo was born alive, so, so what? right? Anyway... epidural came at 9:50pm, and Theo was born at 10:14pm. I didn't get much relief.. and I think all it did for me was give me the peace of mind that I didn't have to move around to labour him out and I could just let my body do the work while laying down and not feeling anything. But because of the timing, the "not feeling anything" part was so far from the truth I could die laughing (bad choice of words, but damn, shit got real, real fast, and I felt it all!).

    But there's no wrong birth plan. Baby alive and healthy make whatever you choose be the right thing.

    xox Good work Rerun on being such a fantastic baby xox