Thursday, August 29, 2013

My floors are so clean you could eat off them. If you were a dog.

You guys, my house is filthy.  I was trying to remember the last time I vacuumed (first clue that the house might be getting kinda grungy) and I was like, "Oh, it must have been last weekend."  Nope.  We were out of town last weekend.  So...  Eep.  Been a while.

Actually, I know I vacuumed upstairs last Thursday and we ran Rosie in the TV room the other day but the wood floors are just resting quietly under a blanket of dust.

I hate when people complain about being tired because (1) it has an easy fix and (2) no one can fix it for you.  But.  You guys.  I am so tired.  This getting up with an alarm clock nonsense is killing me.  I bought this roller ball thing for under eye circles and I'm not convinced it's doing a damn thing but I have to try something.

And the thing is, the kid is sleeping well!  It's not even getting up in the morning that's hard--it's the staying awake in the afternoon!  I teach two classes each morning and by the time I finish lunch and do my office hours, all I want to do is stare at my computer screen and mouth-breathe.  I don't want to talk to students or reply to e-mails or organize English department events or print flyers or prep for the next day's classes.  I'm wiped out.  It turns out that work makes me seriously tired.  And this is NOT a slam on stay-at-home moms because I did that all summer and it is not easy.

But you know what else is not easy?

Working all day and then picking up a kid and doing the playtime-dinner-time-playtime-bathtime-bedtime scramble as soon as I get home.  Especially when I'm totally on my own because David is at school late.  My visions of working and then coming home all refreshed and ready to play with baby were not exactly accurate--at least not so far.  Although I actually made it to the grocery store this week (when I left work early one afternoon), I still couldn't figure out what to make Zuzu for dinner so I cobbled together sweet potato mixed with green veggies and then scrambled her an egg and then gave her a whole-wheat waffle with cream cheese and raspberries (she ate all of everything) and thank God for Cooper because he at least helps me clean up the kitchen floor.

But of course it's only the first week of the semester.  I need to get in a routine and then things will get easier, right?  It would also help to have David not working late tonight.  I mean seriously.  His school used to have a curriculum night and this year they decided to no longer pay the teachers to do the curriculum night so the teachers decided to do it FOR FREE just because they are super dedicated and great like that.  You know who is NOT super dedicated and great like that?  The principal's wife.  Which is why I've decided to have a brownie and a glass of wine for dinner.

If you'll excuse me, I have to re-read Act 2 of Hamlet and then maybe pick up some of the clutter strewn 'round the family room.  I'm hoping to relax and recharge over the three day weekend.

Oh--and I had a moment today that made me forget about being tired.  I picked Zuzu up to take her up to her bath and I hugged her and said, "Give Mama some love," and Zuzu squeezed my neck with her chubby little arms.

And then my heart exploded.

So yeah.  Life is not so bad.  I just really need somebody to mop my floors.


  1. This week is my yearly busy week (the one where I have to work EVERYDAY), and OMG it's exhausting! My floors look fine, but my feet get dirty when I walk around on them (YUCK)-- I feel you. Ben and I are about to eat nachos in front of the TV and it;s the most effort we've put into dinner in days. It's gotta get easier, right?

  2. I'm not kidding you - your house smelled clean the other day when I stopped by. So maybe it was your bathroom soap and maybe it was two weeks ago, but still. On the surface it smelled good.

    I love chunky arm squeezes.

  3. Well I'm exhausted, too. And the only reason my floors were cleaned recently was because of the ridic onset of fruit flies that was PISSING ME OFF and then I cleaned the surfaces of grimy kid food hands and the floor with a mop and voila. No flies for a week.

    Now they're back. Shit.

    I have no energy for this business.

    I think your house needs ladies. See Molly for more information. ;)

  4. And p.s.

    More room sounded greeeeeeaaaat until you now have a crapload more space, right?

    Yeah, I hear ya. Some days I'm cool with the idea of downsizing to a 900 square footer. Just so I don't have to clean two stories of hardwood floors.

    Or maybe just carpet everything. And pretend like my house isn't nassssty.

    1. Oh lmfao! I was just about to comment that she needs some ladies!! Y'all crack me up!

  5. Seriously? I am so tired I just looked for the "like" button on this post because I'm too tired to do the whole "log in to your account" comment business. And I don't remember the last time I vacuumed. I know I vacuumed the sofa last week but the floors? No clue.

    NOT fair, btw, if you ladies have ANOTHER get together and I can't come. :(

  6. Oh sweet Sarah, brandy just mean cleaning ladies! Because Molly loves them :) though I'd come clean if it meant i got to hang out with you all!

    Also, having a dog is SO freaking great for the alternative to mopping sn't it?

  7. I hate the after work dinner thing too. Two words for you: slow cooker - it has saved my sanity on more than one occasion (although it does require some forethought and planning the night before when all I want to do is flake out in front of the tv once the kids are sleeping and watch Mater Chef). And my house? Not so clean either. You can't do it all.

  8. Oh, I feel your pain. On Wednesday I was complaining about how long my week had been, only to realize I was just three days in.

    I have two kids in school for the first time and work at a university, so clearly it's very busy here, too (and obviously at yours).

    Oh. So. Tired.

  9. Lol... I haven't done housework in MONTHS. I'm not exaggerating. Balance is, by far, the hardest part of parenting. And that's saying something, because there is NOTHING easy about parenting. I've had to accept that with our work schedules and all the other demands on our time, not to mention the fact that we deserve to have a little fun, too, I just can't do it all. I'd rather have a couple of hours sleep than clean floors. Hands down.

    Wishing you a bit of peace with it all... or, at the very least, acceptance that some of the less important stuff is just not going to get done. And that's ok...

  10. Smaller doesn't necessarily help Brandy...I do have the 800 sq ft TINY house and I could really use some ladies too! I have treated myself twice to the cleaning groupon ladies--one worth it and one not as good. I am motivated to pick up this weekend only because we have a babysitter coming Sunday. God forbid I have a filthy house for the new babysitter! :)

    I'm not sure if it helps that David is a neat freak? Kirk is definitely not, which helps to reduce pressure and also hurts the cause.

  11. I have to say, this relieves me greatly. I have zero obligations in the productive member of society section of life, still not working, but I'm exercising my ass off, socializing G, and keeping my house clean. Then I sit down at the computer to blog and it just doesn't happen. And I tell myself that Brooke the Beautiful College Professor with a baby a marriage and a gorgeously decorated house blesses me with her encouraging and wonderfully written words all the damn time, and here I am posting every 3 weeks if I'm lucky. So. I love your dirty floors. Thank you for writing this. Thank you for choosing to post instead of cleaning, unlike me, it is well worth it in my eyes at least. I don't mind them at all. ;)

  12. That dinner for Caro would be an EVENT in this house- Grace is lucky with scrambled eggs and toast. And apple sauce from a sucky container.

    And exhausted.. So exhausted.

    I agree- you need ladies. We have one lady every two weeks and I'm beginning to think we need her every week because i'm so tired. ha

    Is Caro leg squeezing yet? Grace hugs my legs if I'm standing in the kitchen and I could pass out from the sweetness of it all. xox

  13. If people weren't still bringing us meals I would have had animal crackers for dinner. And so would have the kids. Working + a child is HARD. The end of the day is the most exhausting part and you have to do it when you're most exhausted! Who made up that plan?

    I hope this weekend is restful!

  14. I need one of them four legged creatures because it would save me some serious time in cleaning the floor twice a day. What about something that cleans every nook and cranny of the high chair? Raspberries make one hell of mess and why does it have to look like dried blood? I'm used to a baby crying when I leave in the morning for work. But today V walked me to the door, gave me a kiss, and a 'buh bye mama' whilst waving and it was pretty dang close to mama lying in heap on the floor. Because who wants to leave that? Not this mama. Love and strength to you mama~ Get one of them there students to do you work for you. Do they have extra credit in college? I forget. ~M

  15. so yeah.. we vacuumed last week?

    but when was the last night the hardwood got a good clean? No.Clue.

    I hear ya on the tired front

  16. Even when I was the one doing the cleaning (dh has been doing most of it now that he's at home), mopping the floors was always my downfall. I'd manage to do a good dust/shine up the kitchen & bathrooms once a week, while dh vacuumed (so the floors weren't TOTALLY filthy...) -- but mopping, for whatever reason, was & continues to be a sticking point. I even bought myself one of those Shark steam mops, because one of my friends (mother of a toddler) raved about hers, & I figured a new toy might entice me to do it more often. Nope. (Although when I do use it, the results are impressive.) You're not alone (if that makes you feel any better!). ;)

  17. I would just like to say that I love my roomba. You press "start" before you leave and come home to a clean floor. It does great with pet fur (not always so well with socks so, yes, you do need to pick up. But, I find it cheaper than a maid and easier than attempting to find time to clean the floors myself!