Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Mormons, Babies, Unexpected Encounters, Good News, and a Plague Update

So Book of Mormon.  It was great.  You have to be careful with a show like this, because I think maybe it had gotten a little over-hyped for us.  It wasn't the funniest show I've ever seen (that was Avenue Q) and it wasn't the best show I've ever seen (Rent).  But it was still really great.  I enjoyed it hugely, I never caught myself wondering how much longer it would be, and I laughed out loud.  I liked that it wasn't afraid to highlight the absurdity of some Mormon beliefs, but it didn't do so in a mean-spirited way.  It was a fun night.  I do recommend the show, and I am still occasionally humming, "God loves Mormons and he wants some more!"

# # # 

Before the show we went to dinner with friends who are expecting a baby this summer.  They are not douche-bags about it, so it was fine.  There was one moment, though, when they asked me how many ultrasounds I had when I was pregnant.

With Eliza, not enough.  With Zuzu, more than necessary.

That was the first answer that popped into my head.  But of course I just said that I'd had three with Eliza (two scheduled, one because she didn't cooperate at the 20 week ultrasound so they didn't get a good picture of her heart--we went back four weeks later and everything was perfect) and many more with Zuzu.  I remember my Bradley class instructor making a huge deal about not having lots of ultrasounds and giving us an article to read about ultrasounds making mice brains all squiggly (or something like that).  I stressed out about the fact that I'd already had three.  (That class was really negative for so many reasons, unrelated to our loss.)  I had written off a lot of the fear-mongering that I felt happened in the class, but I couldn't shake all of it.  I was worried when it came to the many ultrasounds I had the second time around--I tearfully asked my ob about this article at one of my office visits, blubbering about mice brains.  To his credit, he did not roll his eyes, but really talked through my concerns with me and said that there were absolutely no risks that would outweigh the peace of mind and knowledge of the baby's development that we'd get from the ultrasounds.

Sometimes I really hate that Bradley class instructor for being a crazy freakish fear-mongering zealot. I should really write about sometime except I don't like giving her that much space in my head.  She made me so scared of medical intervention that it was really hard for me to reconcile my desire to have every moment of my second pregnancy monitored and my fear that I would end up killing my baby by trying to hard to save her.  Not to mention all the complicated guilty feelings for some how not having done "enough" for Eliza, even though we were all going above and beyond what's necessary for a normal, healthy pregnancy...  Ugh.

Speaking of Bradley classes--we were at Target last week and David recognized the dad from one of the other couples in our class.  It was the couple we liked the most, the ones we probably would have been friends with if Eliza had lived.  I can't even remember their names now.  David also bumped into them at the farmers' market over the summer.  He was by himself--I was home with the newborn Zuzu--and that couple was there, with their toddler in a stroller.  He said it felt like he got punched in the stomach when he saw them.  Living the life that was supposed to be ours.  They recognized him, but he turned and avoided them.  This time, at Target, we were checking out and the guy was walking by on his way in the door.  He did a double take and saw me and the baby with David.  I can just imagine him going home and mentioning us to his wife:  "Remember that couple from our Bradley class?  The ones whose baby died?"  Ugh. 

# # #

To change the subject entirely, Zuzu is doing better with food but ONLY if she is allowed to feed herself.  She seals her lips closed and turns her head away from a spoon, no matter how many airplane noises or "nom nom nom" sounds we make.  No matter what's on the spoon or what time of day it is.  If someone else is pushing food in her face, she is turning away.

But she will happily gnaw on a chunk of bread, sauteed red pepper, apple slices, and home-canned pears while I'm eating lunch or making dinner.  I'm re-reading Baby Led Weaning because it looks like that's the only way we're going to get this baby to eat something besides breastmilk.  So much for all of my frozen cubes of organic purees...  I guess they'll keep until she can really control a spoon.

I am too cool for purees.  And bibs, evidently.
I keep thinking that Zuzu is thisclose to crawling, but she's not there yet, which is kind of a relief.  I'd love to move before we have to baby-proof this house.  If she's on the wood floor, she will actually scooch on her butt in a sitting position, and she works hard to try to pull up to standing, but she just hasn't mastered the art of getting her knees under her yet.  One of these days she'll get her shoulders and her butt in the air at the same time!

# # # 

As I mentioned before, our house is now on the market.  So we're in the midst of the "Keep it tidy" and "OMFG Little Mac quit peeing on the f***ing floor" phase of selling our house (She has peed on the floor twice this week.  And it's only Wednesday.  On the easily-wipeable wood floor, but STILL.  WTF?).  It's a little bit exhausting, mostly because my husband is slightly psycho and does things like putting all of my pens and pencils that were corralled in a canister on the bar by the phone into a ziplock bag that he then put out IN THE GARAGE because GOD KNOWS that having a bunch of pens and pencils in a canister on the bar would be a TOTAL DEALBREAKER for a potential homebuyer.

I am taking it easy on him, though, because he is kicking ass in the job-getting department.  That's right, folks!  David got a head principal position at another elementary school in his district.  I am so proud of him.  I'm slightly nervous about his ridiculous work ethic and the long hours he's likely to put in next year, but I'm also really happy that his district recognizes how dedicated and talented he is.  
Celebrating Daddy's new job!  We found out on Valentine's Day but had to keep it a secret until the official board meeting--over a week later!
So now we just have to keep the house clean, keep the baby fed, keep Little Mac from peeing everywhere, keep Cooper from shedding everywhere (ha, I wish), and keep our fingers crossed that somebody falls in love with our little bungalow.

 # # #

Oh, and because some of you have been asking, my acute and contagious pink eye Eyeball Plague appears to be clearing up.  Just a bit swollen today and not nearly as red.  Kinda itchy though.  Gross.  David and Zuzu have both remained Plague-free, but in an unexpected turn of events, my mom came down with Eyeball Plague.  She visited her eye doctor based on my experience yesterday and got some Magic Drops, so hopefully she'll head off the worst of it.  I don't know WHERE I could have gotten infested with the plague (I have certainly not come in contact with any flea-toting rats) but I can tell you that Eyeball Plague Victim is not a good look for me.  My students probably think I've really let myself go...


  1. I agree whole heartedly about Rent- we saw it off Broadway in NYC the summer before last and it was in.cred.ib.le. Amazing. Loved it so much. Scott also watches the movie everytime he sees it one television which is cute and only slightly odd.

    I love the picture of Caro in the pink sweater holding the red pepper- so sweet. :) Have you tried giving Caro the spoon to hold and using another for the purees? Because sometimes that happens to us- she wants to feed herself (puffs or jamming a spoon in her mouth) but will happily accept purees as long as she's "involved" in the process. :)

    Glad to hear the house is being kept clean (so much work!) and that the eyeball is getting unfestered!

  2. Yes, agree with LJ--this was the only thing that worked with little D--giving him a spoon and letting him "feed himself" while we fed him.

  3. Congratulations to David, that is very exciting! V has been crawling for a little over a month now, but his curiosity is at super high levels. Things I would have never thought he could get to have been subject to his chunky baby hand wrath. I do hope you get to move before you need to seriously baby proof (V is obsessed with electrical outlets and it only took about 5 minutes before he figured out how to get the plastic things out).Pink eye is yucky. I'm glad you have the drops and no one else has caught it! And a big fat boo to the lady in the Bradley class. I think there are many things that will continue to haunt us until we just exhaust ourselves and either accept or learn to ignore the should/could/would of. Much love and always keeping both of your little girls close to my heart. ~Missy

  4. I had a conversation about ultrasounds at a birthday party for one of E's friends on the weekends. I said something like 'On one of the ultrasounds...' and the other couple sort of side-eyed me and said, 'How many ultrasounds have you had?' '7 or 8,' I said. 'Don't you...worry about that?' I wanted to say 'Not as much as I worry about having another dead baby,' but I just made a non-committal hmmmm sound and changed the subject. Blech.
    Glad you are feeling better. That Zuzu has such a happy face; I love it!

  5. We pulled the same thing with B in giving him a spoon or something to feed himself while shoving food down his mouth. He'd only take it when involved in the process.

    That said, it's exhausting and therefore I encourage baby-led weaning as well. I'm not sure my next kiddo will get the same spoon-shoving treatment as I can't imagine all that energy with multiple kids (We could only be so lucky!) in high chairs.

    I would stress about too many pens on the counter, too. We've all gone mad.

    Zuzu is cute. I'm so excited about David's job. I want to see all the plays money can buy but have only seen about 5 in my life that I can remember.

    Farmer's Market. I love St. Louis. Chicago suburbs only tolerate farmer's markets. Meh.

  6. I wish your house sells soon. God knows how many ultrasounds we had with Ishani. 20 maybe! Each time I use to be so so so worried about exposing her to the threatening frequncies, thanks to the utter TMI on the web! sometimes, I think there should be more monitoring on whats being published on the web and in bradley classes with sensitive issues like pregnancy n childbirth. these days just anybody is a doctor!!
    Talking about shedding, our 15 month old can shed as much as making a baby sweater And he hates to be brushed!! He just wants to sprinkle his precious dog hair all over the house like seasoning over food! Hopefully you ll get your eye back when things are pretty and bright in the city again!!

  7. Congrats on David's new job, that is such awesome news!!! Best of luck with the house selling, I remember how challenging that was with a baby & two dogs!
    I loved Rent too, have seen it about three times, it's one of my favorite musicals! Glad to hear you guys had a good time out! Ugh and that Bradley instructor sounded awful, glad you had a good OB who could give you some reassurance!

  8. "She made me so scared of medical intervention that it was really hard for me to reconcile my desire to have every moment of my second pregnancy monitored and my fear that I would end up killing my baby by trying to hard to save her."

    This is just horrible, and I wanted to say I am sorry that it was so rough on you to go through all of the extra scans. You're damned if you do, you're damned if you don't, right? Ugh.

  9. I cant believe I finally found another BLM who did Bradley Method! We did the whole thing when pregnant with Caleb. I felt the same way as you-so much fear in those classes. It also seemed like there was so much "pride" about not using medical interventions. I felt betrayed when I finally got around to writing my instructor our birth story in an email (to share at the "reunion"-that we would NOT be attending) -she never responded! I mean she had called when everything happened, but I swear once she learned we got an epidural she wrote me off! I just have such a negative attitude towards the Bradley method now- and the fact that they talked about EVERYTHING except-you guessed it-stillbirth! Thank you for making me feel less alone in my distain for the Bradley Method!Oh and totally hid from one of the couples in our bradley group when I saw them at Lowes with their baby that was born 2 days before Caleb! I just could not stand seeing their live baby and knowing that is exactly how old he would have been...

  10. I JUST got a Bradley book this week-- not sure how I feel, but everyone I know RAVES.

    Your food cubes might come in handy down the road-- Cooper ended up eating lots of fruit and veggie purees on bagels and toast after he spurned them.

    Congrats to David on the new job-- how awesome! And good luck selling the house-- that's never fun, especially with kids.

  11. My goodness Brooke - Zuzu is adorable!

    Seeing that couple living the life that was once supposed to be yours... ugh. On FB (I don't know why I still go there) someone's daughter just gave birth on Feb 25th, and pictures with grandma, and aunty, and proud mom and dad are all over this person's page. I had to block them. And the cherry on top... the BOY (of course a boy) was born 11 days past due! Ah! wtf. It's like my should have been life last year.
    good golly.

    Anyway, congratulations to David and the new job! And good luck with the house selling! I look forward to reading about your house hunting!! I love that stuff!

  12. I could leave a comment a mile long but don't have time before G wakes up...yes, we had a similar childbirth class experience! Still makes me angry when I think about what we were told mattered vs. what really does matter.

    And I think you know from IG, but Ginny is the SAME as Zuzu with food. Absolutely refuses any purees, but is having a great time playing with chunks of real food - not a lot going in the tummy, although that seems to be changing all of a sudden. Have you tried a straw sippy cup? That's a big hit in our house.