Thursday, January 17, 2013

Winter's Cold

I'm teaching a January term class now, which is fun because it's a class about fairy tales and I get to say things like "hetero-normative" and "necrophilia" and "bestiality" in class, and is also exhausting because the class only meets 12 times but for 3 HOURS at a time, and why yes, I do give us a 15 minute break halfway through so that I can go pump in my office.

It's also hard because it means that I had to drop Zuzu off at daycare this morning even though she's got a rotten virus.  A winter's cold, I call it.  David stayed home with her and took her to the doctor yesterday because she had a low fever and a yicky cough and was generally miserable looking/acting (note: our doctor does not actually consider those symptoms to absolutely necessitate a visit, but I do).  Because I had to be in class, I sent a written note to the doctor with David, detailing the progression of her symptoms:

Friday: runny nose

Sunday: cough began

Monday: coughing and cranky

Tuesday: coughing, cranky, not sleeping well

Wednesday: fever of 99 at 5am

(It was actually longer and more detailed than that, but I choose to make myself look less crazy on the internet).  (Not that David is not a very capable parent.  He totally is.  He just doesn't have the memory for PRECISE DETAIL of baby's every ailment that I do.)

The doctor was all, "Meh.  It's a virus.  Everyone and their dog is sick.  She'll be fine."

She basically slept ALL DAY LONG and David just sat in the recliner and held her because sick baby is SO very sad.

But today he couldn't miss work and various rescheduled meetings from the day before, and I couldn't cancel class, and she didn't have a fever, and the doctor said she was fine to go to daycare, so off to daycare she went.

I felt all conflicted and guilty about it (WHY must I have career ambitions and independent desires of my own when I should be following the Disney fairy tale model of idealized domestic maternity?).  I fretted over Zuzu all morning, decided to put her in a clean pair of footie pajamas instead of a real "outfit" to go to daycare because she wasn't feeling well, and told myself that it would be okay because she wasn't running a fever and she'd only be there for four hours.

She went ahead and made things easy on me by giving her daycare teachers a HUGE smile when she saw them.  Like, "Hey, ladies!  I missed you yesterday when I was stuck at home with my dad.  Good to be back!"

I was still a little teary-eyed as I left her, and I rescheduled an afternoon meeting so that I could rush back to her and pick her up by 12:30pm.  She hadn't taken a bottle for David yesterday, so I was concerned that she'd be fussy and hungry and miserable.

When I walked in, she was lounging on the lap of one of her teachers, sucking down a bottle (her second one of the day).

Confession: I LOVE that Zuzu loves her daycare, but sometimes I'm a little jealous of how much she loves it.  She always gives me a big smile when she sees me, but sometimes I get the feeling that I'm interrupting her fun time.

To be fair, when she heard my voice today, she sat up and started fussing and reaching for me (oh, that reaching!  It's still a fairly new thing and I can't even tell you how much I love it.) so that made my heart swell.  She snuggled her head into my neck and made me feel so good about my decision to pick her up early, even though she really seems to be feeling better today.  Just has that lingering cough.

The sickness thing has been the only part of daycare that really truly makes me feel guilty--like I'm sending her into a germ incubator.  (Of course my child does not carry any germs of her own; she only gets them from other people.  But not her parents or people in other public places.  Only kids at daycare. THIS IS FACTS.)

But really I'm fortunate to have a baby who is healthy--healthy enough that she can kick the ass of this virus is just a day or two.

And knock on wood and spit-spit-spit, here's hoping that David and I have immune systems that can withstand it because I really don't want to play this virus roulette game all winter long.

Is it springtime yet?


  1. You ARE interrupting her fun time, you know... Frances lets us know that all the time. (We missed seeing her on Thursday too.)

    Glad she's on the mend. That was a pretty good Dr. E impression. And the three most frustrating words to hear in a doctor's appointment: It's a virus. i.e. there's nothing you can do about it but get through it.

    I've been known to send my husband with a list as well, but you win the prize by calling 99 a fever. :)

  2. We're all dying on the compound and I'm searching eBay for a decontamination station that will be a requirement to go through to gain access to my house and my kid doesn't go to daycare, just to sooth that bit of guilt.
    Sending healthy thoughts to you and your adorable ball of love.

  3. Three large cheers for springtime. I'm with you. The thought of B getting THE virus or whatever other epidemic is invading our state at this time is enough to keep me locked and barricaded until flowers are in bloom.

    Way to kick some ass, Zuzu!

  4. Ugh this winter sucks! Poor Matthew is on like his 5th cold. I've brought him to the doctor 3x over them, twice for the same cold that sounded worse. My dr humored me by testing him for RSV "but if this is RSV, it's the mildest case I've ever seen." (Not RSV, but he's not even 3 months old yet so any congestion makes his breathing sound bad.) FWIW, when I brought both boys in for their colds, Luke had no fever and wasn't pulling on his ear at all-he just sounded bad and was really really crabby. I would have never guessed he had an ear infection but after a day of antibiotics he was so much happier. Take that baby in as much as you need!

  5. That's the one downside the the unlimited flexibility and autonomy of academia. You pretty much do have to go to class all the time. Poor Jack is beside himself that we can't go on his upcoming field trip, but it's literally the ONE MORNING all year that we both have something we have to do. Our jobs ask us to be physically present so rarely, that when they do, we have no choice!

    Not "just a virus"! I hope she feels back to normal soon.

  6. I loved how much the daycare ladies loved Finn but oh it makes your day when they see YOU and want YOU. I should put Finn back in daycare to remind him how much he loves me.

    Glad Zuzu is such a champ.

  7. Exposing her to all the germs now just builds up her immunity so that she won't be missing half of kindergarten due to illness later. It's all good.

  8. Oh geeze it's a nasty rotten buggy virus household here too. First Kai and than Harlow and me. Oh man I hate when the baby is sick. Now that Kai is a child I still worry but not like I do over an infant. Ibkept thinking...please don't get your sister sick. I just started back to work which is so hard but for Harlow to get sick.... Of course I blame it on daycare! Just like you said, I'm sure it wasn't from anywhere else. Sigh. I'd only worked 2 days. The third daY Kai got sick so Daryl stayed home by tge fourth day I had to stay home. Not great when just starting back to work! I'm glad zuzu likes her day care. I can't tell about ours yet. We haven't been going long enough but the lady dud call to ask about us today which was kind. I totally get "good dad but take this note with you to tge doctor". Haha. I hope tge virus steers clear of you two.

  9. OH NOOO I forgot to get you that Little Mermaid movie. Do you still need it?

    Also, I send B to the doctor with a ridiculously detailed description of the boys' week when they are sick. You are not alone.

  10. I am ashamed to admit that I do not trust my husband to take my kids in for a sick visit. If I made a list, he'd leave it at home or in the car. And, he has little sense of time, and I am afraid he'd be late. So, if he has to meet me there with the kids, I am constantly reminding him what time he needs to leave to get there on time. And if I am not there to hear the prognosis for myself, I might not believe it...hmmmm...perhaps it's not that I don't trust the hubs...I am just EXTREMELY CONTROLLING when it comes to my girls. :)