Monday, November 5, 2012

Work Day 1: Halfway There

I'm halfway through my day.

Things are... really ok so far.

I have to confess that I sort of cheated because I didn't drop her off at daycare.  David had the day off, so I left her at home with daddy as I headed out the door at 8:15am.  Much easier to say good-bye that way!   He dropped her at daycare around 9am.

He assured me that she smiled at the teacher, and he gave her my typed up notes (which they requested!) and her "hane."  It's a little blanket that I've been sleeping with so it smells like me.  It's called a hane because that's what David called his blankie when he was little.  It's actually this:

I chose the one with butterflies since they remind us of Eliza and her butterfly effect.  Zuzu seems to like touching the silky edges.  I like the idea of her having a little security blanket.  (And I like that they come two to a package so you can put one in the wash!).

I cried last night, and felt a little teary this morning, but I'm doing ok now that I'm here.  I'm busy, and I'm doing things I like to do (paperwork makes me feel organized and accomplished, and I'm also prepping to cover a psychology class tomorrow and talk to them about paper writing even though I don't know APA very well...).

Now it's my lunch break, and in just a couple more hours (or sooner, if I can manage it), I'll be heading out to pick Zuzu up from daycare.

Also David just texted and told me that he called the daycare and she'd taken a bottle and was asleep.  So...  maybe she's already adjusting better than I am!

But as I was just telling a friend, in my saddest moments I have to stop and think... at least she's here to take to day care.  At least I get to pick her up at the end of the day and rock her to sleep every night.  It's all about perspective.

Oh, I love this girl.


  1. When I went back to work after losing Cale I had a rough day (obviously) and told my boss that I had always imagined the day would be so hard because I had to drop my baby off at daycare, but instead it was so hard because I didn't get to do that.

    So yes, there's perspective to place on things likes this but it's still hard and still emotional. And if you were excited to leave her, things wouldn't be right. But they are just as they should be.

  2. Kel loves those "little b's" as sloane calls them. We have several different options, little giraffe blankys, angel dear ones w animal heads, etc. bc we are big "bula" people--that"s what I called mine, and I buried one of mine with Hayes. Anyway, I like the A&A ones bc I feel comfortable letting him sleep with it since its breathable and not large enough to get tangled up in. And the silky edges are a must--supposedly they like that bc that's what the cord felt like. Blah, blah, I could go on all day about bulas ha! But so glad you were able to ease into your first day away! I didn't comment on your last post about this bc although I work, I do so from home. I still have guilt over times when I have to work as opposed to give the kids attention. And I always feel like I should be working when i am enjoying them. So although I'm not complaining, this kinda blows too. ;)

  3. Yay for you! Sounds like a great first day. (I also know nothing about APA b/c I use Chicago. I let my criticism students choose their own style manual as long as they use it consistently, but truthfully, I have NO CLUE what I am looking for if it's not Chicago)

  4. For some reason I had it in my mind that she was starting tomorrow - that's what I told Frances who is very, very excited the "real" Caroline is coming to her school (as opposed to the fake Caroline - her doll.)

    By the way - the fake Caroline has stopped spitting now because she had Halloween. I know this makes no sense to anyone else, but I thought I'd let you know. I keep asking Frances what Halloween had to do with it, but no answer yet. She has strange little imaginary things going on in her head all the time. I'm just along for the ride.

    We'll probably see you sometime soon, but sounds like you get an earlier start than we do. I'm the one tearing into the parking lot on two wheels at ten til nine. I need some time management courses.

  5. So much love to you, you're doing awesome!!

  6. Well hallelujah! By the time you read this she will probably be down for the night safe and sound. Which means you made it through your first day back at work! Big sigh!

  7. Congratulations on getting through the first day! She is just adorable.

  8. Yay for making it through the first day! It's hard to go back and leave them- so hard.

    Those A&A security blankets are the best! Mason has 3 or 4 sets and we take them everywhere.

  9. Congrats on conquering your first day. And having Davd home for that *first* time must have been a blessing!

    Can't wait to hear about the second!

  10. Glad the first day went well!

  11. I love that you "cheated" by making David take her. That was a great idea! And I couldn't agree more about how you get to pick her up because she IS there to be picked up. Hopefully it only gets easier from here!

  12. She is utterly precious. I'm soaking up all your pictures of her. Those cheeks, those cheeks.

    Congratulations on your first day back. (I love that David was checking in on her and reporting back. Super cute.) :)

  13. Glad the first day went well! Great news!

    Such a sweet picture.

  14. Ugh. First day back is rough stuff. That pic of her is so presh. Be super nice to yourself this month as you ease back. It gets better.

  15. Note to David: It's called a "kak." ; )

    Hope things have gotten easier by now. (((hugs)))