Possum Update

We have not seen our furry little frenemy since Friday night, but I know he's lurking around, just waiting to sneak-attack the dogs when they go outside to do their business.  David or I watches from the backdoor when we let them out, and I've been letting Little Mac go out front after dark, even though David disapproves.  She won't run away, and I wouldn't want to pee out back with that possum.

The animal-loving, vegetarian-eating, everything with a face also has feelings person that I am does not want this possum to die.  But I would like it to be gently and humanely relocated.  To the next county or possibly over state lines.  (Also maybe spayed or neutered?  Because does the world really need more totally gross possums?  I'm willing to pay for this!)

So, with the hope for relocation in mind, I called the city animal control yesterday to speak with someone about our pesky little (read FIERCE AND POTENTIALLY RABID) possum.  I explained that a large and ferocious possum had gotten into a skirmish with my small but spunky dog.

The woman asked if the possum was outside.

"Yes.  Outside in my fenced-in backyard."

She informed me that animal control doesn't do anything about possums that live outside because "outside" is their "natural habitat."

How amazingly helpful!  OUTSIDE is actually the possum's NATURAL HABITAT.  Who knew?

Upon further reflection, I take this to mean that if possums were infesting my HOME (as Leslie's comment suggested actually happens to some people, who then get to be on TV) that animal control would step in.  Perhaps there are so many home infestations that animal control simply cannot be bothered with yard infestations?  Is this a serious problem in the city of St. Louis?  Possums taking over apartments?  (The thought of one being in my house makes me gag.)

But as long as he remains in the YARD and doesn't use his creepy nearly-opposable thumbs to open the backdoor and move in, then that's evidently NOT a problem.  Perhaps we can just adopt him and he can be like a third small dog who just lives outside all the time.  AND IS SUPER SCARY AND DISGUSTING.

I, very politely, pressed the issue just a bit further, and may have SLIGHTLY exaggerated things, when I said, "So, even if this possum is really fierce and, like, attacking small dogs who live here?  Animal control doesn't do anything about that?"

And then she told me that MY DOG probably STARTED IT.

As though my dog is some kind of possum bully!  Picking on the poor little possum in his "natural habitat"!

I wanted to speak up in Cooper's defense and explain that my loyal canine companion was defending his territory and his family from possum attack and infestation.  But then she cushioned her accusation by stating that it's a dog's "natural instinct."

I was learning ALL KINDS of new things about animal habitats and behavior.  The conversation was riveting.

Moral of the story:

If you want to learn about NATURAL HABITATS of possums and NATURAL INSTINCTS of dogs, please, call Animal Control.

If you actually want some assistance gently relocating and ENORMOUS and TERRIFYING and POTENTIALLY RABID RODENT with nearly opposable thumbs from your backyard, DON'T BOTHER.

image from  http://howtogetridofpossum.blogspot.com/   

A little Google searching has informed me that fox urine is the best repellent for possums, so I'm just going to GET RIGHT ON THAT.  Ebay?