Monday, June 6, 2011

Sunday, June 5, 2011

8:30am.  Wake up.  Snuggle with Cooper, who is sandwiched between me and David.

9:00am.  Out of bed.  David makes smoothies while I get dressed.

9:20am.  Head to driving range.

9:30am.  Driving range is very busy and I feel momentary sense of panic because what if I look stupid golfing or accidentally hit a ball sideways into someone or accidentally let go of my club and send it flying or something?

9:40am.  Begin hitting golf balls.  Manage to not make total ass of self by throwing club, etc.  Of course there are a lot of terrible shots, but everyone else is making them too.  Remind self that we are all there to practice, not to impress each other with our mad golf skills.

10:45am.  Have finished my bucket of balls and am ready to go.  David wants to practice chipping, so we head over to chipping area.  I manage to hit a few decent shots with my pitching wedge and I start feeling cocky.  Suddenly, every ball I hit barely leaves the ground and in fact zooms (or, in many cases, dribbles) off in unexpected directions.  Stupid sport.

11am.  I finally get two decent shots in a row, and decide to call it a day.

11:15am  We head home.  Eat leftover Chinese food for lunch.

11:45am.  David leaves to go play baseball in Illinois.  I sit down at computer, post blog about Saturday.

12:30am.  Begin to actually do some work.

3:00pm.  David arrives home.  I have actually worked consistently for more than two hours!  (Well, mostly consistently.)  Feel very proud of self. Finish up work and shut down computer.  David tells me that an acquaintance I like very much is about to have a baby girl any day.  I burst into tears.  (He didn't see that one coming.  Neither did I, actually.)

3:10pm.  Pull self together and start cleaning out utility closet.  It houses our water heater and furnace, but since our house is low on storage space, it also houses things like mops and brooms and David's tool kit and dog treats and aprons and extra placemats and potatoes and bags of tortilla chips.

BEFORE:  View from the front.

View to the left.  Pictured:  Blue Moon variety pack, box of dog treats, apron, mop(s), dusting stuff, juice, empty container used to hold cookies, tortilla chips, protein powder, frying pan, potatoes, placemats, salad bowl, green Tupperwear belonging to David's grandma, drawers containing with dog treats, placemats, wire, drawer pulls, hooks for hanging stuff, extra parts to items we no longer own.

View to the right.  Pictured:  Dog food, tool kit, Christmas-scented candles, fire extinguisher, extra batteries, corner of recycle bin.
3:15pm.  Entire contents of closet now piled onto kitchen counters and bar.

On bar:  spray paint, napkin holder, tupperware containing cheese cutters, paper plates and party napkins, dog treats, XXL Jif extra crunchy peanutbutter, candlestick holders, flashlight.

On kitchen counter:  aprons, baking soda, salad bowls, lunch boxes, beer, juice, bleach, pitchers, tortilla chips, protein powder, etc.

3:20pm.  Begin cleaning inside of closet, using vacuum to clean up cobwebs and dust on furnace pipes, wiping down shelves, etc.

4:00pm.  Closet is clean.  Still empty.  Project feels overwhelming and like a huge mistake.

4:15pm.  Leave for Home Depot to buy shelving for closet.  Also because I love to go to Home Depot twice in one weekend.  (Note:  That was sarcastic.  Also, this blog is not sponsored by Home Depot.  Home Depot does not know I exist except in the sense that it is impossible for me to go there and not spend at least $50.)

4:45pm.  Return from Home Depot.  Begin opening package of shelving unit.  Realize shelving unit is broken and also we forgot something else we needed.  Search for Home Depot receipt in purse.

4:48pm.  Unable to locate Home Depot receipt.  Curse.  Begin retracing steps.  Locate Home Depot receipt in cup holder of car.  Of course.

4:50pm.  David leaves to exchange shelving unit at Home Depot.  I begin trying to organize innards of utility closet.  I also rearrange canned goods and spices for easier access.

5:15pm.  Stack of cookbooks tips over, causes domino effect on countertop, my water glass falls to floor and shatters.

5:30pm.  Soak up water with towel and finish cleaning up tiny shards of glass with vacuum.  David returns home and asks how things are going.  Not well.

5:45pm.  David and I fight about where to put some things.  I start to cry because for some reason I feel incredibly emotionally invested in appropriate placement of random objects.  He lets me win the fight.

6:30pm.  Closet is starting to come together.  We take a break from closet work so David can make dinner and I can paint the front porch.  I cannot find my standard painting uniform (cut off OshKosh sweatpants that must be a little boys' size XXL or something and a t-shirt from University of Wisconsin at Whitewater that was given to me by a boy I met on Spring Break in Panama City, FL, with whom I had what we will euphemistically call here an "ill-fated romance."  How shocking for a relationship that started in Panama City, FL on Spring Break.).  Instead I put on a pair of boxer shorts (which also might be a little boys' size XXL and were probably my brother's in eighth grade. EW.) and a gray t-shirt with the neck cut out which I secretly think makes me look kind of cool like Jessie Spano in the episode where Zack finds out she's taking diet pills.

7:00pm.  Have already edged the porch and start to roll on paint.  Realize paint color is not called "Trail's End" but "Trail Print" which I find less appealing.  What is a trail print?  I guess like a foot print, but it also makes me think of dog poop.  I was hoping it was an earthy brown/gray color but actually it kind of just looks gray, which makes the name even less appropriate.  Still, it's better than mauve.  Why was our front porch mauve before, you may be asking.  I was trying to go for a brick red color that matched our paving stones...  Anyway, gray is an improvement.

8pm.  Hang sign that says "Wet Paint."  Wrap roller in plastic wrap so I can come back for coat #2 in a little while.  Go inside and eat dinner.  Tatertot casserole.

[Interjection:  Tatertot Casserole is total comfort food.  We used to eat it when I was little and I introduced David to it and now it is a staple in our house and we both get really excited about it.  You make it by mixing cooked ground beef (or, in my case, soy crumbles or tempeh) with cream of mushroom soup and that is layered in the bottom of a casserole dish.  Drain a can of French cut green beans and pour those over the meat/soy layer.  Top with tatertots and bake for twenty minutes or so at 350.  Add some shredded cheddar cheese on top, bake for another few minutes.  Enjoy!]

8:20pm.  David washes up dinner, I head back outside to give the porch a second coat (it's a very small porch--really a small concrete slab).

8:40pm.  Clean up paint materials, back inside to finish closet.

AFTER:  View from the front.

View to the left.  Food storage with cookbooks on bottom shelf.  Cleaning tools neatly hung.  Not pictured:  drawers, now organized, still containing dog treats, placemats, and miscellaney.

View to the right.  New shelves with tool kit, dog food, lunch boxes, pitchers, and that huge package of baking soda.

9:30pm.  Closet organized.  There is actually some space leftover!  We wonder why we didn't do this years ago.  Am amazed that it all got put away and (best of all) that I know where it is and David has not simply hidden it from me.  Flop down on sofa, check e-mail

10pm.  David goes to bed.  I cannot go to bed because this level of Angry Birds is making ME really angry.

10:30pm.  Admit defeat to Angry Birds and take a shower to wash off paint.

11pm.  In bed with wet hair.  Will just do a ponytail tomorrow.

 One more Before and After photo, so you can be suitably impressed:


OK, maybe it doesn't look that impressive in pictures when you can really only see our furnace and you can't see the layer of dust that's there in the Before pictures.  I assure you, it's a big improvement. 


  1. OK I have so much to comment about from this post, but I am in a hurry to get to therapy, so I will leave you with these:

    When I got to 5:30, I was amazed you had not started crying. The broken glass would have done me in. I was like, "OK, here is where I have my breakdown and start sobbing over everything and nothing, all totally related and unrelated..."

    So I was relieved to see that by 5:45 you were crying.

    And then, omg, tater tot casserole? For real? I know what we're having for dinner this week.

  2. You changed your background! WOW! I think the closet looks great - nice job. However tedious you think the daily minutiae blog posts are, I find them fascinating. I can't believe you are painting your porch after 8pm - incredible!! Thank you for sharing your life and your incredible wit with us!

  3. You had me at tater tot casserole.

  4. good work! and i love the jessie spano reference and sweatshirt.

  5. Be still my organization crazy heart! ;o)