Thursday, December 2, 2010

5 Things That Happened Today

Because a list is easier than paragraphs.

1.  One of my University B students did not show up for class today.

Today is the last day of class.

Today I gave the final exam.

Four hours after class ended, I got an e-mail from him:  "I am SO sorry I overslept."

Yeah, dude.  Me, too.  Because now you are screwed.

2.  I took our car in to get two appraisals since it got hit by a friend of ours while parked in her drive way.  Mercy, it is expensive to fix cars.  Also, one appraisal was $1,500 cheaper than the other.  Either way, it would seem that being an auto body guy is way more lucrative than being an English professor. 

3.  Little Mac bit David's grandpa.  Why?  She sat next to him on the couch and he--gasp!--tried to pet her.  I know, I know.  Totally Grandpa's fault.  I mean, everyone knows that Little Mac does not want to be touched even when she occasionally deigns to be near you, unless she initiates first contact and even then you must proceed with caution.

David's grandma actually suggested in all seriousness that he was probably "moving his hands around too much."  Yes, let's make excuses for the psychotic and violently aggressive dog who is probably going to EAT BABY DUCK OMG SRSLY WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?

David says that the moment Mac bites Baby Duck is the moment that she is going to "live on a farm" which either means Grandma's house in Branson or the Big Farm in the Sky.  But David threatened such things if Little Mac ever bit me, and that day came and went and damned if she's not still here. 

So I guess we'll wait and see.  If only I didn't love that damn dog so much.

4.  I got Little Mac back for the biting incident when I stepped on her in the kitchen.  It was an accident.  You see, our kitchen is small and she is constantly underfoot, desperately hoping we will drop some small bite of something (because clearly the high dollar senior-small-dog dog food we give her is clearly not cutting it).  To further complicate matters, I can no longer see her if she is directly in front of me because The Belly is in the way.  Also Mac's eyesight is not what it once was, so she's much slower about moving out of my way, so she ends up getting stepped on.  And then she growls and howls at me as though it's my fault. 

5.  I had another nosebleed today and my ankles are swollen.  Time to lie down, put up my feet, and (guess what??) grade another batch of papers.


  1. I'm sorry! you know our fascination with Little Mac, if it wasn't for our cats we'd volunteer to be her farm!

  2. Rossby has been threatened with "the farm" many, many times. I've also threatened to make him into a purse in front of the kids. I'm waiting for the preschool teacher to ask me about that one.

    The urge to shake your students by the shoulders when they make dumb mistakes like that is even stronger when you have kids of your own.