12 Things I learned This Weekend

I had several educational experiences this weekend. Friday we went to the Fairmount horses races and Saturday we wandered through a local art fair before taking a picnic and going to see The Merry Wives of Windsor at Shakespeare in the Park. Sunday we had friends over for dinner. Each experience was quite educational, but especially the horse races, as I had never been there before. This is what I learned over the weekend:

1. Do not scarf nachos before hopping the car and driving to Illinois, particularly if you are going to spend most of the trip turned around talking to people in the backseat.
2. Always expect that the "all-you-can-eat-buffet" at the local horse races will consist of fried meat and mayonnaise-based salads.
3. Do not imagine that a vodka tonic will cure carsickness.
4. Do not suppose that, should a vodka tonic fail to settle your stomach, a Bud Select might do a better job of it.
5. Do not think that the horse with the cutest name is likely to win the race.
6. Do not wear flowery dresses and hats to horse races in Illinois because there is no way you can do it ironically enough to keep people like me from judging you.
7. Do not underestimate the power of Veronica Mars to make me feel an instant kinship with other people who like the show.
8. When attending art fairs, always expect to fall in love with the painting that costs more than one month's salary.
9. When going to Shakespeare in the Park, remember that comedies are funnier and tragedies more compelling when you bring a bottle of sauvignon blanc.
10. Also remember that if you drink more than half a bottle of wine in one sitting, you may have trouble staying awake, no matter how funny the comedy or tragic the tragedy. Also, your partner may mock you.
11. There is something both disturbing and endearing about the way grown men in their thirties play video games with all the enthusiasm of twelve-year-olds.
12. Do not underestimate the simple pleasures of sitting on the deck talking with a friend. It is a wonderful way to wrap up a weekend.