Thursday, March 19, 2009

News on the Home Front

* I got offered the teaching job I interviewed for last week. It is for a novels survey course in the fall. MWF 11-12. It is a lot of work for wee little compensation. I accepted the job.

* I got accepted to one of the conferences I sent a paper proposal to. It is in Utah in October. I sent in my $25 membership fee. Now I actually have to attend the conference. Crap.

* And for those of you who have been desperately awaiting to hear about my dog's latest gross bodily functions, you'll be interested in this piece of news. Occasionally, Cooper's ass inexplicably smells like a dead animal. (My aunt Peggy will recall the disgusting odor of what we can only presume was a dead mouse inside the wall of her guest bathroom. It was the summer Natalie and I lived there and after we BOTH on separate occasions thoroughly cleaned the bathroom, we discovered that it was NOT our bathroom that smelled like dead animal, but, in fact, a dead animal in the wall. That is what Cooper's ass sometimes smells like.) We do not know what causes it or what makes it linger, but it is absolutely vile. Today I was curled up in my reading chair, revisiting some key moments in Bleak House with the puggle snuggled on my lap and the next thing I know, DEAD ANIMAL ASS SMELL. I immediately started gagging and ran dramatically to the bathroom to retch and dry heave over the sink. D is home on spring break, so he had to give Cooper a bath while I changed my clothes (dudes, the smell lingers).

* Oh, right. About the burn. Went to Barnes yesterday and met with very nice doctor who told me she is currently reading Middlemarch. I automatically liked her. She told me to buy silicone gel sheeting at a medical supply company and to follow the directions on the package. The idea is that it will flatten the ugly raised part of my scar. I am going back to see her in three weeks and if it has not improved, she will refer me to plastics for something that sounded like a derm imbrasion (?) or some kind of injection that I guess will liquify the hard scar tissue and help to flatten it. This silicone sheeting reminds me of the burn pads I was buying before (except that it costs $88!!!! For a piece that is about 5"x7". I cut it to fit my scar and then I cover it with a bandage I bought that is sort of mesh tubing to pull on and fit around my arm (only $.79/foot!). I wear it for 4 hours the first two days, then 8 hours the next two days, then 24 hours a day except for when I'm showering and such. Evidentally it is very important to follow this schedule and get my arm acclimated to the silicone sheet. It can be washed off and reused. When it loses flexibility, I am supposed to cut a new piece to put on the scar. The interesting thing is that silicone has been shown to improve scars but nobody knows how it works. They have researched it at the Wash U med school as well as some other places and they know it gets results but they have no idea how explain why. I think this is strange and it makes me distrust the medical profession a little bit, even though I liked my doctor and I hope this works!


  1. Your tia favorita is most interested in the continuation of Burn Notice. Your blog said it was to be continued on Wednesday. Did you learn yet that you need a skin graft from your inner thigh? :)

  2. Squeeze Cooper's anal glands:

  3. Seriously...Mindy was JUST talking about glanding Rio again. Johnny's luck is fading...