Monday, July 29, 2019

This Monday Calls for a Can of Wine

We spent the weekend at a family reunion at my uncles house in Indiana. The kids ran wild, stayed up way too late, swam and played outside with cousins literally the entire day. Now we are home and the adjustment is... tricky?

The girls brought home cupcakes and left the container open on the kitchen table and Clementine ate almost all of them. I made Zuzu dump what she didn’t eat into the trash. She then left the cabinet door ajar where the trash can is and Cooper dragged out the trash and ate the cupcake remains, plus who knows what else. He left coffee grounds all over the floor. So I got to clean the kitchen floor on my hands and knees.

My children are feral and naked. Coco just jumped on the ottoman and yelled, “Here's my bottom and here’s my vagina and here’s my armpits!”

Zuzu tickled Coco so hard that Coco dribbled a little pee on the couch.

After three days of being held constantly by Grammy, aunties, and cousins, Genevieve only wants to be held. Go figure.

I’ve done six loads of laundry and I’d pay you $100 to put it all away for me.

Am contemplating a capsule wardrobe except really I already have one because nothing fits over my ginormous breastfeeding boobs.

Baby is now sleeping in swing, which is a minor miracle.

Literally all I want to do is read this book by Pat Barker called The Silemce of the Girks that’s about the Trojan war. Instead, I’ve agreed to take the kids bike riding after dinner.

David just got a haircut that is totally channeling Logan Echolls in season 4. Basically the biggest compliment ever. Also, I still haven’t recovered from season 4 of VM. I’m planning a debrief with a friend to help me process.

David got me a birthday card that says, “Sassy, Classy, and Kick-Assy. There are many layers to your awesome.” It is my favorite card ever and I might frame it.

Conversation just now, while D prepares quiche for dinner.

Me: If we were two different species of animals, do you think our souls would still find each other?
D: What species are you?
Me: does it matter?
D: I think I would need to get high to have this conversation.

And now I’m off to put eucalyptus in a vase and maybe put some laundry away...


  1. I love your blog because you make me feel like I'm not alone when my kids get weird, lol.

  2. I'm pretty sure I've read your entire blog, and this post has got to be in the top ten. I wish I could just send you more wine and a night off!

  3. I love all of this! You're doing a kick-assy job.

  4. Very kick-assy.

    Friends From College is very good, and I have a crush on Keegan-Michael Key, but seriously, the show makes me VERY TENSE. The comedy is hilarious, but so physical - like literally physical - someone is always crashing into someone else, or scraping the furniture or dropping something valuable. And the revenge robocall episode made me ache all over. But I still love it, so thanks for the rec.

    Also, looking for a password for VM.4 still.