Sunday, November 5, 2017

Poor, Poor Coco

I may have already mentioned that Friday morning, Coco wasn't feeling so good. She had a low temp (99 degrees fahrenheit) and was whiny/crying in the morning before school. I gave her some ibuprofen because her temp wasn't very high and otherwise she looked/seemed fine.

I was  a little worried, though, so just before 10am I called the school to see how she was doing. They said she was totally fine.

But when I picked her up, she told me she didn't feel good and she didn't want to do gymnastics. Definitely weird. We were going to gymnastics for a make up date anyway from the time that the class conflicted with grandparents' day at school. So Zuzu went ahead and went to her class and I schedule another make up day for Coco and she sat on my lap like a pitiful little lump the entire time Zuzu was bouncing and cartwheeling. I knew she was feverish because she kept telling me she was cold, so I had her bundled up in my scarf. About five minutes before class got out, Coco actually dozed off.


Saturday morning, she wasn't feeling any better. She didn't have a fever, but she was crabby as hell. Amanda and I were painting the fireplace and Moana was babysitting Coco while David and Zuzu were at regular gymnastics class. Coco kept telling me her mouth hurt. I was trying to look at the back of her throat without sticking my paint-covered hands in her mouth, but of course she wasn't cooperating. I told her to stick out her tongue and say "ahhhhhh" and she was trying to do that, but I couldn't see her throat, and then I noticed a disgusting sore on the side of her tongue. There were a bunch of little white sores on the inside of both of her cheeks too.

Amanda finished up the fireplace whitewash while I called the doctor's office and spoke to the nurse. She said that it sounds like Hand, Foot, and Mouth Disease. It's totally different from the last time Coco had it (poor little punkin) because this time she has no other symptoms besides these mouth sores, but she is sooooo uncomfortable. She bursts into tears every few minutes saying her mouth hurts. She'll wail for what feels like ages, just saying, "Oooowwwwiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" over and over and over again.

It's so sad, and so exhausting. For all of us.

I'm really hoping that Zuzu avoids it again. She got lucky last time, so it just seems that Coco is extra-susceptible.

Last night she was miserable and our watching of Stranger Things with Crafty Cousin Amanda and her husband Dan got cut short by Coco waking up and wailing. David and I both went up so one of us could comfort her while the other one got the thermometer and medicine together. I tried to put Mylanta on some of the sores in her mouth, but this INFURIATED her, and she turned against me. From that moment on, she only wanted Daddy. She wanted nothing to do with me. Honestly, it made me cry because it hurt my feelings that I couldn't comfort her!

On the flip side, I definitely got more sleep than David did.

We're now alternating ibuprofen and tylenol and trying to keep her comfortable. She has hardly any appetite. Or, rather, I think she's hungry, but everything hurts. She ate some oatmeal yesterday and today, and we're trying to tempt her with yogurt and popsicles and juice, but she's barely interested and just cries when we ask if she wants something.


David and I are trying to work out who's staying home with her tomorrow (both of us have relatively light days on Monday and kind of need to be there on Tuesday--so guess who will probably end up missing work on Tuesday? #theparentwithauterus #thepatriarchywinsagain). Anyway, I think we need to plan to keep her home the next couple of days even if she doesn't have a fever because right now she could not even come close to functioning at school.

Last night I lay awake feeling so sad for her and sorry for myself because MAH BAYBEE was rejecting me in favor of her dad so I couldn't even comfort her, and I was feeling so helpless and frustrated.

Then I starting thinking about all the really sick kids in the world and how helpless and frustrated their parents must feel when they can't make their babies better or bring them comfort, or when they have to give them medicine with painful side effects, and then Coco and I were both sobbing.

I know how fortunate I am that my kids rarely get sick, because the anxiety that comes along with it is no joke.

I think my anxiety in these situations is definitely more amplified because I am not living under the illusion that otherwise healthy babies/kids don't die. I am certainly able to redirect and hush those fears most of the time so that they don't infiltrate my everyday life in a way that restricts my happiness on a daily basis, but when Coco is crying so hard and there is NOTHING we can do to help her--it's really, really hard. On her and on us.

8 comments:

  1. Sending best healing thoughts for little Coco and Mama.

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  2. I do hope she feels better soon and that Zuzu escapes it again. I know you aren't looking for advice on combating the sadness when the other parent is the chosen one, but I want to let you know I know I remember how much it absolutely sucks.

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    1. It totally sucks. I’m glad I’m not the only one!

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  3. Awww, poor Coco! I remember when our nephew was about that age & had something similar. Sores in his mouth & everything he ate & drank made it hurt, poor little guy. :( Hope it passes quickly!

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  4. I've literally felt Coco's pain, and yours as well. I'm so sorry!!

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  5. Oh man, that sounds so miserable. Perspective is important sometimes. But when you and your baby are miserable, trying to convince yourself that you shouldn’t feel awful because other people have it much worse probably isn’t going to help you feel better. Just a little unsolicited advice ;) yes, you have tons to be grateful for, but I’m sorry you and Coco had such a shitty day. I hope you all get more rest tonight and Coco improves loads tomorrow!

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    1. I definitely get your point about comparison, but I wasn’t thinking other people have it worse so I shouldn’t feel bad. I was just imagining what it would be like to have a child who was seriously ill and was feeling overwhelmed with sympathy. If my day was shitty, I can only imagine how exhausting it would be to cope with that for a longer period and my heart goes out to every parent whose child is ill or hospitalized.

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