Let's Get That In Writing
Scene: Arguing about who knows what.
Me: That's not a decision that kids get to make. That's a decision that grown ups make.
Zuzu: When I grow up, my kids can make ALL the decisions.
I've Played that Big Sister Game Myself
Scene: In the car.
Zuzu: Poopoo peepee. (laughs)
Me: That's enough potty talk.
(repeat that exchange twice more)
Zuzu: Poopoo butt!
Me: Okay, consequences the next time I hear potty talk.
Coco: Poopoo butt!
Me: Coco, do you want consequences when we get home?
(a few minutes later)
Zuzu: (in a very quiet whisper) Coco, say poopoo butt.
Like a Boss
Zuzu: What's a boss?
Me: Someone who tells other people what to do.
Zuzu: So you're a boss.
Me: Yes. Who am I the boss of?
Hey, It's a Valid Concern
Scene: On our way to get photos taken at JCP.
Zuzu: Who will take our pictures?
Me: I don't know if the photographer will be a man or a woman, but they will be very nice and you will need to follow their directions.
Zuzu: But what if it's that mean man?
Me: It won't be a mean man.
Zuzu: But what if it's Donald Trump?!
Still Working on the Punchline; Or, Existential Humor
Scene: Teaching Zuzu a joke.
Me: Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Me: Because 7 EIGHT 9!
(later that day)
Zuzu: Why does 8 like to play with 7?
Zuzu: Because he EIGHT a hotdog for breakfast!