I have finally discovered the secret to getting through the work week.
Are you ready for this?
I KNOW, right?
I am very affected by caffeine. If I drink it without eating enough, I get super jittery and shaky. If I drink it in the evening, I can't sleep.
When I saw a therapist in grad school, convinced I needed anti-anxiety medication, he told me to first try cutting out caffeine and also exercising.
(I was slightly irritated that his advice TOTALLY WORKED for me.)
So I chilled out on the coffee, quit drinking pop, and then I quit it entirely when I got pregnant with Eliza because I figured if it made me jittery, it would affect the baby, too. And then I didn't want anything even remotely questionable in my body when we were trying to get pregnant again. And by the time Zuzu weaned, I hadn't been drinking coffee in so long that I didn't have a chance to start up again before I discovered I was pregnant again.
I have quit pumping at work. I went to a La Leche meeting this week because I was having mixed feelings about this decision... I mean, I WANT to quit pumping, but Coco isn't a big fan of cow's milk (not the way Zuzu was) so it didn't seem as easy to quit sending mama milk to school with her when she's not really cool with the easy substitute.
But, Girlfriend is almost thirteen months old. She can drink water and catch up on mama milk when she sees me. I do not need to be pumping eight ounces a day at this point. The LLL leaders suggested I try rice milk to see if she likes that, but not to stress over it. I have some frozen milk (just a little bit, as I recently donated most of my supply to the Milk Bank), so I'll do some mixing and keep sending sippy cups of it as long as it holds out, but I'm NOT SORRY to say goodbye to the pump and to the washing of pump parts (except in the sense that it means my baybee is really not a little baby anymore, as though her WALKING and TALKING is not enough of a clue).
(Also there was the perk of having the excuse to get out of really boring work meetings sometimes, but I suppose that couldn't last forever...)
Anyway, what that means is that I am drinking caffeinated tea and having an occasional small cup of coffee and it feels SO GOOD! I slammed a nonfat chai latte before class on Wednesday and I was WIRED. It was awesome.
But my use is totally recreational, so don't worry.
I'm not an addict. It's cool. I feel alive. If you don't like it, you're on the other side.
(Anybody remember that song? K's Choice? C'mon, tell me you remember it. Mid to late '90s? Totally awesome. Love it.)
This week was a doozy, so the caffeine really helped.
Highlights of my week included:
* a pair of size 3T panties getting flushed down the toilet
* a pair of baby hands caught splashing in the toilet water (gag gag gag!)
* the poor dog getting shut outside for the night with everyone too tired to realize it so he basically shredded the weatherstrip lining trying to claw his way back in and shredded my heart with mama guilt for leaving him out because he is a special snowflake kind of indoor dog (at least it was a warm, dry night).
Oh, another great moment was when Zuzu got really mad at me and yelled, "I'm going to BITE you! With my MOUTH!" (She didn't actually bite me, so maybe we're making progress?)
David worked late last night, and my work continues to feel crazy. I don't know if I just forgot what the first couple weeks of the semester feel like since I was at home with a newborn last year, or if this year was just especially crazy. But I think it really has been especially crazy.
I'm definitely needing a long weekend. And I might even bust out the coffee pot for Tuesday morning!
Wild times here, my friends. Wild times.
Now excuse me while I go find K's Choice on Spotify.