Monday, June 1, 2015

More Thoughts on Poop; Or, I Miss Having Other Things to Write About

Sometimes when I take a minute to think about how fast the girls are growing and how much they are changing, I already feel kind of sad about how quickly they are leaving babyhood behind.

I will miss the hilarious things Zuzu says, the way she pronounces "does" as "dooze," the way she talks about herself in the third person, and the nonsensical questions she asks when she doesn't get a joke or doesn't follow the conversation ("What HAPPENED, Mama? Daddy, what HAPPENED?") . I already feel nostalgic about missing the way Coco's face lights up when I walk in the room and she bear-crawls towards at top speed. I will miss snuggles and quiet nursing sessions and the fact that clicking my tongue makes her laugh.

But you know what? 

I will NOT miss the amount of time I spend cleaning up bodily waste that is not mine.

I don't even just mean diaper changes. I can change diapers all damn day--even cloth ones--even now that Coco has started solids. Hosing those hummus-textured-turds out of a cloth diaper into the toilet is not my favorite way to spend my time, but I can deal with it. Babies poop in diapers. I get that.

I'm really talking about the fact that three-year-olds poop pretty much adult versions of poop. And this past week there has been poop in pull ups and poop in big girl panties and poop on clothes and poop on socks poop on the floor and poop on rugs. Poop while climbing the play structure at the park. Poop THIRTY SECONDS after peeing on the potty and pulling up her big-girl panties. Poop at school that comes home still nestled in the big girl panties, the whole freaking turd tied up in a plastic bag in her backpack.

(A plastic bag that David will then toss into the laundry room without opening, allowing Cooper to then tear the bag open and EAT THE TURD because he is so freaking disgusting I can't even.)

I am so over poop.

Last night Zuzu pooped in the potty completely on her own and I was so happy YOU HAVE NO IDEA how happy.

Or maybe you do.

Please let this be the start of something real and not just a fluke. Because I'm really tired of having so much mental energy taken up by policing and coping with toddler poop production. I'm sure other things happened in my life last week, but I can't for the life of me tell you what one of them was because ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS HOW MUCH POOP I CLEANED UP.

I miss my brain having other thoughts. I really do.


  1. It's So. Freakin'. Awesome. when the poop ends up in the potty!

  2. Oh I soooo feel this pain! Hang in there!

  3. amen to the poop in the potty. It makes me unreasonably happy when it happens. it never lasts though.

  4. Dogs are so freaking disgusting sometimes. It kinda made gag just reading about it. Hang in there.

  5. I gave Mary too much fruit yesterday (mainly too many blueberries) and very much regret putting her in cloth today.

    How do such tiny creatures produce such huge and nasty poops!? I miss when they were exclusively breastfeed - I miss those seedy mustardy poops!

  6. Every day. Every. single. day. since we moved into my parents house, B has pooped has pants. Sometimes twice a day. I am so over it. I don't know what to do, or how to make him stop, but I do know it's a control issue. And I know I am ready to move into our new house and get him back on track!

  7. I cleaned up poop on the toddler bed last week, just sitting on the top sheet, three large turds that had been taken out of a diaper. Gross.

  8. Ugh, I am sorry!

    This was the BEST part of Lucas waiting until a couple months of 3 to potty train. When he was ready, he just did it, always, I think he had 2 pee accidents when he misjudged how much time he had to make it to the bathroom, but that was all. (Oh, and we had to wipe his butt for him after he poops until just a few weeks ago but that's because he is lazy and refuses that sort of independence until we push making him dress himself is our new big deal.)

    I hope all your puking is over and the poop clean up is over too!

  9. So far we do not have the poop issue. That goes in the toilet. Pee is everywhere. 4 months of peeing in the potty. All undone. I don't know why, maybe because he started school? No idea. Toddlers are random! ~M