|print created by Francesca at Small Bird Studios|
Today is Infant and Pregnancy Loss Awareness Day.
Before I ever got pregnant, I was aware that people lost babies.
But I never thought that it would be me.
My friend Veronica said something in an e-mail the other day that I thought summed up the situation so perfectly. She said that many people seem to think about stillbirth or pregnancy loss as tragedy, but one that is an isolated event, an event that we move on from after it occurs.
In reality, though, it's a loss that we wake up and experience again each and every day. It isn't just a baby I've lost--it's a toddler and a preschooler and--in just a couple of years--a kindergartener and the list goes on and on and on.
I'm going on four years out from losing Eliza, and I'm better at balancing my grief. The buoyant joys of having two little girls here helps to keep the dark sorrow at bay most of the time.
But of course they are also living reminders of another little girl who's not here, of our firstborn daughter, of the sister who isn't here, of the baby we loved so much and never got to see grow up.
Time has made my grief easier to carry, but a day doesn't go by that I don't think about Eliza and who she would be if she were here now.
Tonight at 7pm, I'll light a candle for Eliza and for all the other babies who have been lost and the families who are missing them. This is part of the Wave of Light that will go all around the world. I would be honored if you would join me, and I thank you for thinking of our baby girl.