You guys, my house is filthy. I was trying to remember the last time I vacuumed (first clue that the house might be getting kinda grungy) and I was like, "Oh, it must have been last weekend." Nope. We were out of town last weekend. So... Eep. Been a while.
Actually, I know I vacuumed upstairs last Thursday and we ran Rosie in the TV room the other day but the wood floors are just resting quietly under a blanket of dust.
I hate when people complain about being tired because (1) it has an easy fix and (2) no one can fix it for you. But. You guys. I am so tired. This getting up with an alarm clock nonsense is killing me. I bought this roller ball thing for under eye circles and I'm not convinced it's doing a damn thing but I have to try something.
And the thing is, the kid is sleeping well! It's not even getting up in the morning that's hard--it's the staying awake in the afternoon! I teach two classes each morning and by the time I finish lunch and do my office hours, all I want to do is stare at my computer screen and mouth-breathe. I don't want to talk to students or reply to e-mails or organize English department events or print flyers or prep for the next day's classes. I'm wiped out. It turns out that work makes me seriously tired. And this is NOT a slam on stay-at-home moms because I did that all summer and it is not easy.
But you know what else is not easy?
Working all day and then picking up a kid and doing the playtime-dinner-time-playtime-bathtime-bedtime scramble as soon as I get home. Especially when I'm totally on my own because David is at school late. My visions of working and then coming home all refreshed and ready to play with baby were not exactly accurate--at least not so far. Although I actually made it to the grocery store this week (when I left work early one afternoon), I still couldn't figure out what to make Zuzu for dinner so I cobbled together sweet potato mixed with green veggies and then scrambled her an egg and then gave her a whole-wheat waffle with cream cheese and raspberries (she ate all of everything) and thank God for Cooper because he at least helps me clean up the kitchen floor.
But of course it's only the first week of the semester. I need to get in a routine and then things will get easier, right? It would also help to have David not working late tonight. I mean seriously. His school used to have a curriculum night and this year they decided to no longer pay the teachers to do the curriculum night so the teachers decided to do it FOR FREE just because they are super dedicated and great like that. You know who is NOT super dedicated and great like that? The principal's wife. Which is why I've decided to have a brownie and a glass of wine for dinner.
If you'll excuse me, I have to re-read Act 2 of Hamlet and then maybe pick up some of the clutter strewn 'round the family room. I'm hoping to relax and recharge over the three day weekend.
Oh--and I had a moment today that made me forget about being tired. I picked Zuzu up to take her up to her bath and I hugged her and said, "Give Mama some love," and Zuzu squeezed my neck with her chubby little arms.
And then my heart exploded.
So yeah. Life is not so bad. I just really need somebody to mop my floors.