|strike a pose, there's nothing to it|
Anyway, we can't stop staring at baby Caroline and thinking about how lucky we are. Of course we miss Eliza, of course we wish we could have both our girls here. But the truth is that I'm aware every moment of every day that there's no rule that says we get have anything we want, let alone everything. We're lucky that we have Caro here, and we're incredibly lucky that she is healthy and at home with us. It didn't have to go this way, and we're all too aware of how fragile our good fortune is.
The truth is that if she were my first baby, I would being feeling smug and proud, like I earned this or made this happen. It's true that I did everything I could to have a healthy pregnancy, sure, but I know better now. I don't want to call it a gift or a blessing, because I don't think that God doles out favors to some people and withholds them from others. But I do believe that so many important things in life are out of our hands (which I, for one, find frustrating and infuriating!). And I'm just so thankful that this time, things worked out beautifully for us. Not because we deserved it (many, many people deserve this and don't manage to get it). We know how freaking lucky we are.
I kind of expected that postpartum hormones would leave me awash in grief, but I think I cried a lot of that out last week (which make sense since I seriously cried at least three times a day). I'm grateful for having cried all of those tears, because when I look at Caroline, I can't stop smiling. (And that is a good thing, considering there are several stitches and some seriously sore nipples that might otherwise hamper the smiley face situation around here).
And now to the popular demand part of the post! Photos! This is the going-home-outfit photo stream.
|Going home outfit|
|Realizing that we dressed in matching outfits|
|in the car seat (which always makes us think of baby Addi)|