NST was reactive today, fluid level good (15cm). Baby appears to be perfectly content. In fact, Deuce is so comfortable in there, with head so comfortably wedged up against my cervix, butt so comfortably wedged up against my stomach, and feet so comfortably kicking against my ribs that it appears he/she plans to stay in the womb until leaving for college.
Which is to say that I've had a few contractions, but nothing significant, frequent, or regular. Just enough cramping that it shows up as "irritability" on the NST print out. But that's been going on for weeks.
In fact, the first time the nurse wrote on my report card, "Irritability noted" and I had to ask her what it meant. She explained that it indicated there was some cramping but no contractions. I said, "Oh, okay. So it's a comment on my uterus and not my personality?"
At this point it's pretty accurate either way.
The plan is to be induced at the end of the week if the Deuce doesn't get a move on between now and then. I'm relieved and disappointed and I have so many other mixed feelings about it but I'm too exhausted to try to articulate them in any sort of coherent fashion at the moment.
I'm also really, really missing Eliza right now, and grieving for everything her birth should have been. I guess it should be expected that she would be especially on my mind, but I'm not sure I expected to feel this level of sadness in the days just before we meet the Deuce.
I want to say thank you again for all the support that you guys have offered me in comments and e-mails and texts and cards and thoughts and prayers. I can't believe it's week 39. We are so. close.
|39 weeks, 1 day. Little Mac remains intrigued and mystified by my practice of taking self portraits, and judging by the look on my face, taking my own photo requires supreme concentration. Also: the belly. It is big.|