NST was reactive today, fluid level good (15cm). Baby appears to be perfectly content. In fact, Deuce is so comfortable in there, with head so comfortably wedged up against my cervix, butt so comfortably wedged up against my stomach, and feet so comfortably kicking against my ribs that it appears he/she plans to stay in the womb until leaving for college.
Which is to say that I've had a few contractions, but nothing significant, frequent, or regular. Just enough cramping that it shows up as "irritability" on the NST print out. But that's been going on for weeks.
In fact, the first time the nurse wrote on my report card, "Irritability noted" and I had to ask her what it meant. She explained that it indicated there was some cramping but no contractions. I said, "Oh, okay. So it's a comment on my uterus and not my personality?"
At this point it's pretty accurate either way.
The plan is to be induced at the end of the week if the Deuce doesn't get a move on between now and then. I'm relieved and disappointed and I have so many other mixed feelings about it but I'm too exhausted to try to articulate them in any sort of coherent fashion at the moment.
I'm also really, really missing Eliza right now, and grieving for everything her birth should have been. I guess it should be expected that she would be especially on my mind, but I'm not sure I expected to feel this level of sadness in the days just before we meet the Deuce.
I want to say thank you again for all the support that you guys have offered me in comments and e-mails and texts and cards and thoughts and prayers. I can't believe it's week 39. We are so. close.
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| 39 weeks, 1 day. Little Mac remains intrigued and mystified by my practice of taking self portraits, and judging by the look on my face, taking my own photo requires supreme concentration. Also: the belly. It is big. |
I hope Deuce makes a happy and safe arrival soon (although not nearly as much as you I am sure)!!!
ReplyDeleteI understand your missing Eliza, especially with Deuce's arrival emminant. I am only 32 weeks and my boys have been on my mind more and more with each week beyond when I delivered them.
Wishing you a quick and uneventful labor so you can meet Eliza's brother/sister!
Yes, the first few weeks were tinged with bittersweetness, (Joe might possibly have walked into my hospital room to find me holding Luke and bawling my eyes out at one point...hormones probably didn't help there), but it does get easier.
ReplyDeleteYay for eviction notices, hopefully that's all the deuce needs to vacate the building! 6/26/12 would be a lovely birthday, all those even numbers! Come out deuce! We want to meet you!
You look amazing.
ReplyDeleteI'm here waiting anxiously, right here with you :)
Big and beautiful. Maybe the Duece wants to share a birthday with Cale.
ReplyDeleteYou are one gorgeous pregnant lady!
ReplyDeleteI hope the Deuce gets a move on, but if not, I hope you have a very smooth induction.
You have been in my thoughts often, sending love and prayers for a smooth delivery for the Deuce, hopefully soon! You look fabulous for 39wks pregnant. Hard not to feel all the what might have been's at such a pivotal time. Looking forward to hearing of Deuce's arrival into the world.
ReplyDeleteWishing you strength & peace for Deuce's delivery ((hugs))
Oh you all are so cute. Belly, Deuce, Mac...lots of love, Mama. Yes, I imagine a lot in these next weeks (months. years.) will feel bittersweet as you grieve for what should've been Eliza's as well.
ReplyDeleteYou're pretty much in my thoughts and prayers nonstop right now. I just can't wait for you to have that baby in your arms.
xoxo
SO many good wishes coming your way!
ReplyDeletePraying.
ReplyDeleteYou look great! I hope the Deuce comes soon for you!! Thinking of you:)
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking about you All. The. Time. In a concerned blog friend way not a creepy stalker way I promise.
ReplyDeleteGood thoughts, all the time.
Nice to know he/she is still comfy and doing well. Hopefully you are as well. The last bit can be the most stressful.
ReplyDeleteHang in there. You look great! I had some intense Elizabeth-missing in the final days before Ginny was born, so you're not alone with that. Thinking of you all every day and wishing for the best.
ReplyDeleteLove, love love and some more love for you.
ReplyDeletexo
Such a beautiful belly!
ReplyDeleteI have no advice to give, as I have no idea how to feel at a time such as this. The only thing I can think, is to bring Eliza with you. Bring her with you to the hospital, bring her with you when you joyously welcome Deuce, bring her with you when you mourn her. Take her along. She will be there, so glad for her Mama and her Dad and willing Deuce into a new life with you both.
What a great pic! I love that Little Mac is a photo creeper. Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers. Come on Deuce!
ReplyDeleteThinking of you as your approach the end...I find this part hard too. I'm going in on Friday & finding these last few days hard. Sending much love and hope for a speedy and safe delivery of the Deuce.
ReplyDeleteSo close!! Fingers crossed the Duce wants to be here and meet you soon :)
ReplyDeleteSo close...so close. We keep checking in, six million times a day, to see if there has been any word. If any peace can be found this week, I hope you guys get a small dosage.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you!!
ReplyDeleteSending love and positive thoughts and hoping so hard for you. C'mon Deuce!
ReplyDeleteLove and positive thoughts and birthing vibes sent your way! You look amazing, mama, and you're so close now. The last bit is so emotionally draining. Thinking of you and your family and checking constantly for updates!
ReplyDeleteWow. So close indeed. Thinking of you in this final stretch.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you Brooke! You look great and I am getting excited for you and David.
ReplyDelete~ Alby
come on duece! stop challenging your mother; you have plenty of time do that.
ReplyDeletewishing you, beautiful brooke and david, the ULTIMATE best.
Cava (I only really post at Glow)
Praying for a happy union of baby deuce and dear mommy and daddy. You look lovely @39 weeks :)
ReplyDeleteI remember being a mess of emotions in the time right before our "rainbow baby" was born. It's supposed to be such a glorious, happy thing...and it is...but the one before wasn't and that is enough to make ya feel like puking. When our rainbow came, I remember being in disbelief at the fact I was holding a LIVE baby. It took a few minutes to set in.
ReplyDeleteYou have been and will continue to be on my mind. Wishing you all the best and peace in the midst of it all!
Isn't it funny how with these pregnancies we kind of expect them to show up early on their own, even though statistically that is not very likely...I really got that in my head last summer. I kept expecting him to arrive without having to be induced -- and we did induce, he was born just over 2 days before his due date.
ReplyDeleteI am going to Mexico on Saturday and will have to find internet just for this!
I'm thinking of you this week. And wishing you a smooth rest of the week with a healthy wonderful crying (but not too much) baby in your arms!
ReplyDeleteCOME OUT DEUCE, we're waiting and we love you so much already!
ReplyDeleteYou look wonderful. Pregnancy really suits you Brooke. :)
I keep checking in, hoping for good news. Sending you wishes for a healthy Deuce!
ReplyDeleteYou are almost there!!!!!!!! I CAN'T wait to see the Deuce's pics!!!! Big hugs beautiful mamma!
ReplyDeleteAnd PS- you totally have to cloth diaper! LOL!!!!!!!!!
Deuce, come out & play. We all want to meet the little person Eliza has sent for her patents. We love you!
ReplyDeleteSo close! Brooke I am holding my breath over here. Can't wait to hear about The Deuce's arrival.
ReplyDeleteThinking about you today. I've been checked several times a day now that "end of the week" is getting more official.
ReplyDeleteI am so so so excited for you. My heart is aching in anticipation ....