Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Monday, June 6, 2011

Oh, you thought I'd forgotten!  Or gotten tired of this project!

I am kind of tired of it.  Also I find myself thinking, "Should I really go back to Target today?  What will people think?"  But whatever.  Here's Monday:

8:00am.  Awake.  Unwilling to get up.  Read entry in daily grief book, and re-read past few entries, too.  Snuggle up to Cooper and do the half-asleep thing for a little while.

9:00am.  Up and at 'em.  Consider doing yoga dvd.  Decide not to.  Will walk dog vigorously instead.  Put on running shorts and tank top in preparation. 

9:15-10:30am.  blogging/reading/e-mailing.  Lots of thinking about Eliza.  Some tears.

10:30am-12:30pm.  Do some actual work.  Prep for class on banned books.  Update syllabus.  Make note to re-read Fahrenheit 451 over the weekend.  Send work-related e-mails.

12:30-1pm.  Eat lunch (leftover tatertot casserole) while reading Real Simple magazine.  Look forward to having office on campus where I can relocate at least half the crap from my home office.  Decide home office also needs more organizational storage solutions.  Wonder if this sudden need for extreme tidiness is a side-effect of grief's messiness or a side effect of just wanting to buy new stuff.

1:00pm.  More e-mail, then work on writing/editing work stuff.  Make note to look up NPR archives on 50th anniversary of Lolita.

3:00pm.  Put on wedding ring and Eliza bracelet.  Drive to Wash U to put in request for transcripts to be sent to new job.  Walk to building that houses registrar's office.  Go in wrong entrance and get turned around.  Maintenance worker gives me directions, which consist of "walk to your left instead of right."

3:30pm.  Politely ask registrar if I am in the right place to request a transcript.  She says I have to do it online.  I say that I need this piece of paper (wave piece of green paper) sent with the transcripts, so I thought I would need to drop this off in person.  She says she will send transcripts with this green paper, but I need to fill out online form and indicate that green paper has already been dropped off.  I give her green paper and leave.

3:32pm.  There is computer kiosk in hallway.  I decide to fill out online order form RIGHT THERE.  That will show the registrar girl that I can check stuff off my to-do list.

3:33pm.  Online order form requires address.  Address is on green paper.

3:33.5pm.  Return to office, politely request green paper back so I can have address.  Promise to return quickly.  Registrar-girl fetches paper for me, but also lets out irritated sigh.  Privately think that she should be thanking me for extra exercise because she looks like she needs it.  Remind self that everyone is fighting their own battles.

3:35pm.  Return to computer kiosk, fill out online form.  Transcripts used to be free but now cost $5.  What is world coming to?

3:37pm.  Return green paper to registrar with effusive thanks.

3:40pm.  Arrive at another building on campus to make copies for summer class.

3:45pm.  Girl in office shows me copy code and how to use machine.

3:46pm.  Syllabus copies are inexplicably being made on 11 x 20" pieces of paper.  Start making squawking noise and start pushing random buttons, trying to stop copy machine from spitting out poster-sized copies of my syllabus.

3:46.5pm.  Girl in office returns to copy machine, says someone else must have reset the settings.  Fixes it.

3:50pm.  Leave office with copies made, normal-size.

4:00pm.  Return to car, drive to learning center to pick up paycheck and drop off assignments.

4:30pm.  Drive to Target.  Make spur of the moment decision to stop in DSW and look at running shoes.  (Lesson learned:  These Skechers shape ups do not actually tone up legs in lieu of actual exercise.  I know, it's a shocking revelation.  And I personally don't find them as comfortable as my regular running shoes, which are two years old.)

4:45pm.  All running shoes at DSW cost minimum of $69 or are not in my size.  Leave DSW in huff.

4:50pm.  Duck into Famous Footwear next door.  Zero in on pair of Saucony's (my favorite brand) that are in my size and cost less than $50.  Sold.  Get in line behind a mom with two kids.

4:55pm.  Still waiting in line behind Tyler and his mother, while they debate over whether to order Pumas for Tyler in a size 7.5 or 8 and have them shipped to their house.  High-school-looking girl behind the counter feels Tyler's toes in the size 7 shoe and recommends an 8.  As though the high school girl is suddenly a shoe-fit expert.  I am skeptical.  Tyler's mother appears to trust her authority.  They decide to order the 8.  Meanwhile, Tyler's older sister tries to convince Tyler to try on another pair of Pumas that she found.  Tyler refuses.  Tyler's mother tells her to put the shoe back.  Tyler's sister puts it on the counter instead.  Then she begins whining for socks.  Tyler's sister is annoying.  Also she kind of reminds me of myself at age 11.

5:15pm.  Finally get out of their with the shoes.  Head for Target.

5:20pm.  Arrive at Target.  Park far away because lot is very full.  Walk toward entrance.

5:21pm.  Turn around outside entrance and walk back to car to get reusable shopping bags.

5:22pm.  Reusable shopping bags are not in car.  David must have removed them.  Let out my own irritated sigh.  He has probably cost me a quarter (since you save $.05/bag at Target if you bring your own) and also I feel terrible about using plastic bags.

5:23pm.  Enter Target.  This is the biggest Target in my area, and not where I usually shop.  It's so big it carries fresh produce.  I take my time wandering around.

5:30pm.  Stop at cleaning supplies.  Smell all of the natural anti-bac bathroom cleaners.  I think they smell like Listerine.  David thinks they smell like icy-hot.  David cannot abide by the scent of these bathroom cleaners.  I cannot abide by the gunk around the shower drain.  I finally decide to just buy the regular toxic stuff with bleach in it.  I feel guilty about not being a good steward of the environment.  I choose all natural kitchen cleaners and shampoo to make up for it.

5:40pm.  David calls me.  He's at a golf tournament that started at 3pm.  He ran inside for bathroom break and called to say hi.  I ask him if we need both sizes of ziplock bags.  He says yes.

5:45pm.  Wish David luck, hang up phone.  Choose the ziplock bags that claim to be more environmentally friendly than the others.

6:15pm.  Go to Target check out.  Have a million things in cart.  Check out lines are long, but a guy opens up a new lane for me.  I am pleased.  He scans my millions of things, loads them up in plastic bags (I continue to feel guilty).

6:20pm.  He gives me the total.  I tell him I want to open the Target debit card that works just like your regular bank debit card but saves you 5% on every purchase.  He asks me if I have a check with me.  I say, "Uh, no, wait! Yes."

6:20.05pm.  He clicks the wrong button and hit "VOID" on my order.  He tries to blame it on me saying I did not have a check with me.  But I would still have needed to pay for the stuff either way, so he still shouldn't have voided my order.  I remain silent.

6:20.5pm.  He calls over the manager to see if he can un-do the VOID on my order.  She says no.  He will have to re-ring it.  Everything in my cart. 

6:21pm.  Target guy starts sweating and freaking out.  I am remaining totally calm (I mean, seriously, who cares?) but he is freaking out.  He's telling people in line behind me that they should choose a different line because this will be a while since I am opening a debit card.  I am slightly annoyed that he is pitching all of this like it's my fault, but he is all red and sweaty like a heart attack is imminent, so I just say, "It's no big deal."  I mouth "Sorry" to the girl behind me.  She smiles and says, "It's not your fault."  I feel somewhat vindicated.  Target guy is still sweating profusely and tearing up plastic bags trying to get my stuff out of them to rescan.  I want to tell him to chill the hell out, but I don't want to stress him out more.

6:25-ishpm.  I leave Target, with debit card and many plastic bags full of crap useful household items.

6:35pm.  Arrive home.  Dump bags on kitchen counter.  Decide to walk Cooper.  Little Mac insists on joining us.  It's too hot for her (like 100 degrees hot). I make her stay inside and Cooper and I set off on the walk.

6:35.5pm.  We're one house down the block and I can hear Little Mac wailing from inside our house.

6:36pm.  I admit defeat.  Return home.  Get leash.  Little Mac joins us on the walk.

6:40pm.  I have shortened our route and slowed our pace, but Mac is still lagging behind and panting like crazy.  I tell her that next time she will listen to her mother. 

6:55pm.  Back from walk.  Feed dogs, wash hands, start boiling water for beans and rice.  Put away Target stuff.  Wish wine cube would cool instantly in fridge.  (Yes, I bought boxed wine at Target.  Go ahead and judge me.  It's the equivalent of two bottles!  In one little cardboard cube!  It lasts up to four weeks!  And you get to pour wine out of a spigot! FTW!)

7:30pm.  Eat dinner (beans and rice and broccoli) in kitchen while watching TV.  Reruns of The New Adventures of Old Christine -- my favorite! 

8:00pm.  House is clean, but floors need to be cleaned.  Pull out the steam cleaner.  Vacuum and steam the backroom, dining room, kitchen, and living room.

9:30pm.  David calls.  On his way home.  I put away vacuum and steam cleaner, feel like a Stepford wife.  Iron a pair of khaki pants for him to wear on Tuesday.  Feel like more of a Stepford wife.  Remember cube of wine in fridge and feel better.

10pm.  David arrives home.  Discuss golf tournament, get ready for bed.

10:15pm.  Read The Young Romantics (biography about Leigh Hunt, Lord Byron, Percy Bysshe Shelley, Mary Shelley, et. al.)

11pm.  Sleep.


  1. you make me laugh brooke! thank you. :D it was much needed. i love hearing about your day. really. i do.

  2. A few revelations:

    1. I use reusable bags at Target for both the $.05 back per bag and because I dream about dolphins getting their heads caught in my Target bags-- because they are thicker, you know. Except that I live in Chicago and there are no dolphins within at least thousands of miles.

    2. I have a load of Seventh Generation cleaners and think they stink terribly except the toilet bowl cleaner. It's pine and smells amazingly, much like a Christmas tree. However, it's all about Soft Scrub and Comet in the shower.

    3. I think boxed wine (in that cool cube!) sounds wonderful.

  3. I LOVE all the Mrs Meyers stuff. I am addicted to the green one in fact. I use pretty much just bleach and more bleach in the bathroom but follow it up with Mrs Meyers for the counter tops and 7th Gen glass cleaner which kind of sucks but has no scent.

    I HATE the Method dusting cleaner, though, and microfiber cloths alone just don't do it for me, so toxic Pledge it is -- what do you dust with?

  4. I agree with Tiffany. I would keep reading these forever.

  5. Get on with your bad self! You are awesome at accomplishing things!
    "Remind self that everyone is fighting their own battles."
    I love that line, because I am constantly trying to do the same thing. Also, the squawking and random button pushing with the copier? Exactly what I would do.
    Box wine is the best stuff ever.
    I like reading about your day. :))

  6. I, too, like reading about your days - you're funny! And we're getting a Target here in my city (although we jokingly pronounce it Tar-jay) and I'm excited as hell. I probably will be going far too often.

  7. I too have the Target card with 5% discount on all items at the checkout! I am sorry the Target employee was so nasty and mean. I just read too that Target sales for the year are down...I'd better get there now to help them out!

  8. who steam cleans their carpets at 8 pm?! dude, i wish you were *my* wife.

  9. You are hilarious. And I am also a devoted fan of boxed wines. Why in the hell would I buy a bottle when I can buy a whole box? That is like 5 bottles worth! And it does last weeks, so no more pouring undrunk wine (ha, yeah right) down the drain (oh, the horror!). So, I'm with you on that front!

    Oh, and I have found that using green cleansers in the tub along with a nice sprinkle of baking soda works wonders! Speaking of which, I have to go clean my shower right now... ugh...

    Thanks for sharing your day with us!


  10. I have to read 451 too, because I am assigned to teach it next year. How funny that at 6 months out we both end up reading the same book completely non-loss related!